Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS writer
So…I find myself at Gunnas again! Dev has asked us to write for 5 minutes. Either “My life is disastrous” or “My life is incredible”.
I guess it says something that I immediately thought that my life is incredible. And the very next thought was ‘WHAT??? ARE YOU KIDDING??’ For the past two and half years, my life has been a DISASTER!!
The answer to whether my life is incredible or disastrous depends very much on the day, and who is posing the question. My life has undergone a massive change in the last four years. My life will ALWAYS be defined in my own mind as pre-44 (years old) and post-44.
Pre-44 was disastrous, yet incredible.
Post-44 is incredible, yet disastrous.
There are people in my life that would think that I swapped incredible for disastrous.
But I KNOW that it was the other way around.
What is incredible about my life now? I am a mother of 5 fantastic children, I have wonderful girlfriends, I am healthy, I am independent, I am free, I am my own person, I am safe, I am encouraged, I am helped, I am comfortable, I am at peace, I am in love, I am loved.
Some of that may not seem so incredible to some people…but to me it is. Some people may think that the disastrous – the no money, no job, no house, no financial security, a bullying ex, an angry son whose relationship with me is dodgy to say the least – must overcome the incredible. But it hasn’t, and it won’t, and it never ever will.
Because I am learning who I am – after 48 years – and I’m learning to like who that is. I have learned what it is to love and be loved unconditionally.
And that is always going to be incredible.