Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS writer.
I hesitate to pick up the phone and call my mother as I almost always do.The mental preparation required has become routine yet still unsettles me.
Despite the fact that on average a phone conversation doesn’t exceed more than 5 minutes it is an intense experience which when over usually requires a few long deep breaths and some positive affirmations about myself and life in general.
Sometimes there are tears; sometimes I threaten to boycott her birthday and sometimes I choose to let it all go and remember that she wont be here forever and her life is as important as mine.
Mum has seen hardly anything of the world. She never finished school, she isn’t interested in socialising or meeting new people and generally speaking fears the worst from life. She disapproves of me not being married, being childless and spending most of my money on travel rather than keeping it in the bank for all those terrible things that happen.
Of course I will keep calling and letting her update me on who is ill or dying, who she dreamt about and why that is a bad omen, her various worries about my brother, sister, niece and nephews and what’s wrong with me that I don’t I watch Dancing with the Stars or Home and Away?
I approach my life with positivity, optimism and joy and generally speaking expect the best of people and experiences I encounter. I know that I didn’t get to this place without the influence of my mother and our relationship. And so it continues that we are each others teachers, my mum and I; and may there be much time ahead to keep learning. For now I have a call to make and I’ll do it with a smile.