Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS writer
Today I went to a Gunnas Writing Masterclass. I was terrified, intimidated and overwhelmed… until I arrived at the class and started chatting with some fellow ‘Gunnas’. Then Catherine worked her magic and got me thinking. A lot. And laughing. A lot. Two of the many things which stuck with me from today were ‘how many people in your life really love you just for who you are, not for what you do for them and vice versa’. The other was about not giving fucks.
I don’t give many fucks, but I’ve come to realise there’s a difference between not giving fucks and not caring.
From a young age, much to my mother’s disgust, I never gave a fuck. Not about what I should do because I was a girl – if anything, if it was ‘meant to be for boys’ I was in. Playing with cars, building with Lego, climbing, digging in the sand… and while the other girls had prissy pink bikes with streamers on the handle bars, I had a kick-ass BMX. I’m sure Mum would have been delighted if I was more feminine. If I were more inclined to knit, bake and sew than to go to the speedway or fishing. Actually, she’ll hate this piece just based on the amount of fucks I’ve thrown around. Sorry, Mum.
As an adult, my non-fuck giving isn’t much different. I still don’t conform to what I should or shouldn’t do just because I’m a female, but also, there are some jobs I’m happy to hand over to someone else – whether they’re male or female – if they’re more skilled or able than I… or what ever reason I choose. It’s also extended to not giving a fuck whether people approve of me or who I am. I know I’m a good person. I am compassionate, I am caring – I am a decent human being who doesn’t go out of their way to cause pain to others and I’ve even been known to go out of my way to help others. So, if someone chooses to judge me based on my age, my fat, the fact that I have tattoos or which area I live in, I don’t give a fuck. I save the fucks I give for those I care about. Anyone else can go take a flying jump.
I am one who has people in my life who I love for who and what they are, and I know there are those who feel the same for me. This is what keeps a smile on my face when things may seem a little overwhelming. The knowing that they’re there. That wherever they are, if I need them, I have them and they have me. It’s taken a lot of years to smarten up to this idea and realise it, but by Christ, it’s worth it now.
Also, I need to shop for a tiara… but that’s a whole other subject.