Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER.
Her name is Vikki. We met via the usual dating site gizmo. I never realised it when I read her profile but she was “Christian-Other”. Of course it came out when we met face to face. She belonged to one of those churches. You know, the singy, crazy, everyone join in and give money to the preacher style ones that build huge edifices in the outer burbs, and attract great hordes of the dull and stupid every Sunday.
Fuck. A Christian. Kill me now I thought. Nothing worse than a born again – they want to convert everyone, or drown us all in the candy flavoured shit of their wonderful realisation. Only she wasn’t really like that. She was smart, sassy, no bullshit, fuck this, God that and Jesus fucking Christ this. Not your usual family assortment style bible basher.
She was the other sort of Christian. Messed up. Reformed addict of the worst kind. Thief, liar, general all around bad to know person. That was 9 years ago until NA. Now she’s clean and not that long ago found the Man. Dates Him every Sunday. Really it is like she’s having an affair.
“Meet a good Christian boy,” I said, “they won’t insult you on purpose or accidentally with their casual blasphemy and disdain for organized religion.”
“They’re all either porn addicts, complete twats or unable to speak to girls because they’ve never done it” she carefully replied. “Most of them are just wet and not in the way that makes me so”.
You know it is doomed. You know you just can’t get over that dammed dependence on religion or something. Seems to me like really she just swapped one drug for another. One addictive behavior for a more socially acceptable one. I give her my theory of: religion = weakness of character. She doesn’t bite.
So we start dating. This will all end in tears. Why is it only the fucked up ones that have guts and spark? What does that say about me? Why do I attract birds with broken wings?
Shane Murphy is a freelance writer. More stuff of his over here