Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER.
Once upon a time there were three men of different sizes who worked at Wendl’s Department store during the depression. Harry, the tallest of the three, was the store manager. He was a mean, burly faced man who always carried a cane. He was known to wave it around should swaggies dare to venture into the illustrious department store. The second man was Samuel. He was a man of medium build who ran the men’s department. The smallest of the three was Frederick the dwarf. Fred’s role was to wander around the store telling jokes about his size in order to entertain the customers. One day, a tramp entered the store hoping to steel a tin of milo from the food department. Milo was the latest drink to hit the food scene and he was dying to give it a go. Unfortunately, Harry saw the swaggie, so he asked Fred to tell him to leave. Because of that, the swaggie jumped on Fred to make him disappear. He did this with such force, however, that Fred disappeared up his arse. The tramp knew he was in trouble so yelled out: “Help, I need a volunteer to pull this short arse out of my arse’’. Because of that, Sam appeared on the scene; he tried pulling Fred out but he would not shift. Harry then appeared and tried working him out with his cane but still Fred would not budge. It was then, that Sam grabbed the latest constipation remedy and forced some dates and senna leaves down the swaggies throat. Before long, Fred, covered in shit, burst out of the swaggies arse. When asked some days later about the ordeal, Fred said “that although it had been a mostly shitty experience, it had also been a very moving one”.