Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER.
I found my first grey pubic hair today while I was coincidentally admiring how youthful my vagina looked after getting out of the shower. Yes, that’s right – youthful? What other adjective were you expecting from that angle?
I was a tad taken aback as there was the paradox at how youthful my vagina looked to the reality bite that I had one solitary grey fucking pube growing out of the top of it. Since when is that a thing?
It jolted my rather narcissistic perception that I look waaaaay younger than my other 52 year old counterparts to which the little voice in my head said ” Who the fuck you gonna show this to prove otherwise, ya wanker?
I had only just recently become aware that pubic hair gives into the process of ageing which I found alarming at the time. Who first looked down there? When did that happen? Was it during oral sex? Because if it was? BOOYA to the 50 something year old still going down on another person….. Unless you were going down on yourself, which would be a far more interesting topic to write about than the fact that I have discovered my first grey pubic hair.
Like The Velveteen Rabbit, does my vagina now become more loveable because it is a little worn around the edges, showing the signs of wear and tear? Does it need to be thrown into the washing machine to see if we can spruce it up under the delusion of suddenly looking plumper, cleaner and – dare I say it – younger.
Is there Botox for vaginas? Is the plural for vaginas….vaginae? WHY would anyone have more than one vagina? Is there a politically correct term for a person with two vagina and how can we decrease the marginalisation of these people in society. What IS the collective noun for a group of vaginae? I digress…..
Should I pluck it out and save it like a newborn’s baby hair in a baby album?
https://shazzahlicious.wordpress.com