Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS writer
A Prayer to the Almighty NRA
Dear National Rifle Association,
I, a bleeding heart, humbly beseech thee to stop this madness. How many guns do we really need? Enrich my heart so that I can understand why guns are the key to a free and fair democracy.
I know, oh great and powerful NRA, that I a poor miserable do-gooder, can never understand your infinite wisdom. Please enlighten my ignorance and help me to see your divine plan, a gun for every citizen.
Explain to me, oh NRA, how background checks before people buy guns would limit your omnipresent reach. Help my wayward heart to comprehend why anyone needs a semi-automatic weapon that fires 100 rounds per minute. When last I checked, holy NRA, deer were not that fast.
I confess, oh NRA, that I have sinned against you in thought, word and deed. In my heart, I have blamed you and your teachings for the death of multitudes. I have spoken in frustration of the easy availability of guns, your weapons of salvation. I have written letters to politicians asking for regulation of your chosen instruments. I have voted against those who support you. Cleanse my soul of these impure thoughts. Clearly my own lack of understanding, my inability to embrace the wisdom of unbridled gun ownership leads again and again to death.
Purify my heart, soiled by grief. Forgive my belief that there could be a path other than that down which you lead us. Show me once again how open-carry patriots protect the rights of us all.
Give me a gun, almighty NRA, and teach me to use it so that I, a good guy with a gun, may resist that ultimate threat to liberty, a bad guy with a gun. Help me convert those unbelievers who would fetter your power and threaten the great American way of life.
Free us from those who would restrain our destructive impulses. Deliver us from the example of nations who have limited carnage through gun control.
For thine, almighty NRA, is the power and the glory, now and forever.
AMEN.