Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER.
I literally couldn’t move as I watched her head be pushed further under water. I knew I should rush to her aid, defend her, save her life – she was only nine. But I couldn’t; my feet planted on the floor wouldn’t move forward, my arms by my side couldn’t reach for her, my mouth was fused shut so no protest to save her came. I was instead, transfixed on the woman – her face red and contorted with rage, her eyes wild. I was mesmerized, hypnotised. The snot mixed with the blood on her cheek – a scratch. Good, the girl must have put up a fight after all?
You stupid fucking bitch the woman menaced. You will never laugh at your sister again you dirty little cunt. What had the girl done that would surely cause the end of her life? Laugh? I don’t understand and I can’t save her. Maybe she deserved it? Maybe she was a dirty little cunt?
Suddenly the woman let go and the girls head rose out of the water like a phoenix rising from the ashes. “I’m sorry mummy” she screamed, almost before she took her first full breath. How is it that she apologised for being so bad before she even thought to make sure she was still alive? What did she do to deserve that? Laugh? She fell and looked at the woman, the mother, the protector, the nurturer, the bringer of life. I could move my legs, my arms, my mouth, my eyes. Oh, my eyes!
I looked to my mother, my protector, my nurturer, my bringer of life and I saw the hatred, the filth, the disgust and I knew what I did – I laughed! I enjoyed life, I felt joy and love and compassion and empathy and ecstasy – I was the very thing she wasn’t.
I moved, I stood up and I walked away from that nine year old girl and I’m a woman now; a mother, a protector, a bringer of life. And I laugh!