Category Archives: Gunnas-Masters

object_88 – Joshua Finzi

Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER

I try to immerse myself in coffee. Not in a mediated psycho-physiological way, i.e. imbibing excess amounts of the substance.

I mean to really be at essence within, a part of, belonging to, identically synonymous with the coffee.

It must be that way.

Elements of burned foam correspond to nodes in the brain where the electrical signals fail to keep.

Caffeinated residue is akin to seminal fluid or female ejaculate. To be inside — or metaphysically inseparable from –:

that is as much divine as it is a necessary endeavour in

comprehending the symptoms of lived experience.

One could replace the fluid with ale or water,

but the constituent fundamental parts, the

in-itself of the molecular structure of the fluids,

differentiates them from coffee, & from inhabiting coffee in

the most peculiar & transformational of ways.

It is like metempsychosis, the transmigration of the soul into fluid:

supercooled helium reacts to

boundaries & friction differently than does

urine.

Hence, to identify with & be wholly, substantially

coffee is to take on an identity distinct from

& unique to ancillary substances. Coffee is

a teleology.

Preceding substances are steps on a ladder, categories in a hierarchy of

spiritual being. The phenomenal state of coffee is

eschatological, a gavel-sound in the ascension through

lived states. It is philosophically incongruent to rational

behaviour to aim for anything other than a complete bodily,

psychological, & identity transformation into coffee.

There can be only the caffeinated fluid, insofar as

all the rest is like the shedding of skin.

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Am writing – Miss Brown

Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER

The thing I had forgotten was that we had agreed to go on a double date with Sarah and Tom. We’re weren’t ready and had forgotten to book a babysitter for Emilia so we decided to just go and take turns sitting in the car while she slept. We arrived 45 minutes late wearing jumpers smeared with baby drool and realised we were not dressed appropriately for this type of venue. Luckily, there was a bag of clothes we were going to give Vinnies in the boot. I put on an outfit one size too small and Jake’s clothes were the size up from his own. Jake decided to do the first round of baby supervision, so I went in. Sarah and Tom were happy to see me. I explained the baby situation and they were very understanding. Next, we sat down and ordered drinks. As the entree came out I noticed pine nuts in the dish and started joking about Pine Mouth. The Japanese have a saying: Pine Mouth is when the odds are against you and you are cursed with rancid breath for eternity – or something like that. We had a great laugh and ate the entree with the toasted pine nuts. As I pinched the last remaining pine nut off my plate, in that split second between it leaving the plate and landing in my mouth I thought “what if this is the rancid nut?”. My body moved faster than my brain and so I threw it into my mouth and chewed. My fate had been sealed, I had Pine Mouth. I knew this was not going to go away easily. I had heard horror stories of Pine Mouth lasting for months. My next thought was to head to the bar to drink something strong that would take away the flavour. Fernet Branca, Limoncello, Absinthe, Grappa, Jagermeister – they did nothing for my suffering. I kept drinking and nothing helped. Only my stomach started to complain and gurgle. Pine Mouth was starting to derail the beautiful evening when Jake rushed inside and said “I’ve been calling you for over an hour. Have you forgotten about me?” The answer was yes. So, as promised, it was my turn to sit in the car. As I sat in the there, all I could do was think about the revolting flavour in my mouth. All I could think about was Pine Mouth. I tried to rise above it and to go beyond it using mindfulness, I listened to music, I watched videos. Nothing could take my mind away from it. My Pine Mouth was so over powering that I had to take action.
First, I found some baby wipes and wiped my tongue. No change. Next I shook some baby powder into my mouth as a breath freshener. Nothing. Finally, I found a pair or scissors and used them to scrape the top layer off my tongue. The goo that I scraped off had a terrible stench, something was finally working. I wiped the scissors clean and wiped my tongue with a baby wipe for good measure. I took a moment, the Pine Mouth was gone.
I passed out in the car only to be woken by a screaming Jake. I had locked the doors from the inside and couldn’t make out what he was saying. As I regained consciousness I realised he was saying there was blood on me as well as cocaine on my face. I tried to calmly explain to him I had just scraped my tongue and used the baby powder in my mouth. As I spoke, the flavour had returned to my mouth. I thought to myself,  ‘life is over, Pine Mouth is forever.’ I started to cry.
At this point Jake was panicking and totally freaking out because he felt like the situation was escalating and couldn’t comprehend what I was rambling about while crying. I sobered up enough to realised the patrons from the restaurant had congregated around the car to see what all of the fuss was about and one of them had called the police. I grabbed the mirror and looked at my reflection. I looked like a murder/fetish scene gone wrong. It was very embarrassing explaining the situation to the to police when they arrived.
This is why we never go out.

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Short pieces – JK

Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER

The whole time I’d been sitting there, I’d been trying my best not to think about the warmth and the wet in my crotch. But as I worked my way through the questions, making sure to be dutifully silent as she answered them, that wetness was the only thing that existed in the world. Like a meditative mantra repeated for infinity.

A thousand wild horses stormed my head. Then, when finally it was over and I stood, I felt it all go. A wet weight that no-one should ever have to feel come out of them. And as the blood and life ran down my legs I thanked her for her time and walked her to the door.

It wasn’t even the fact that I’d just miscarried during an interview. It was the fact that I had started saying ‘thank you’ to a god I swore I’d given up on long ago. It was the fact that somehow I had missed it when hope, that fucking sneaky creep, had slipped back in a side door and begun deconstructing all the work I’d done on building my armour of indifference.

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The cost – Buddo McPhee

Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER

 

twelve years old at calisthenics

Dad picks me up

mum with him

Odd that

No banter or talk in the car

Odder that

 

two men in suites in lounge room

We’re in the kitchen

Mum holding a bottle of coke

‘David’s been killed’

Bottle dropped

 

He wanted David’s car

to get to the Royal Show

see his girlfriend

David hit with a coke bottle

 

Unconscious stuffed in the car

driven to the bush

Left there

dying

 

my early 40s

tradie at the house

name recognition

‘knew your brother what did he expect

ripping someone off

bullet through the head’

 

Not what I remember

 

Need to know mid 40s

Attorney’s Department

Thick file smelly

Court transcript coroner’s report

Carbon copies not easy read

 

photos taken out

Censored

Wrong place wrong time

Senseless

Murdered for gold ‘71 Ford falcon

3 boys 16, 16 and 17 2 wards of the State

 

David not quite 17

came to in the car

Head resting

bleeding on one boy’s lap

Dragged from car

 

Didn’t die from bottle blow

fought for his life

Broken fingers bruised

 

There’s a hole in his skull

Not a bullet

car lever hard hit

left to die they ran and hid

 

Took three days for

David to be found

 

Another few to find the boys

 

Whatever risk

boys removed not kept safe

Cost them us dearly

David

his life

 

name remembered

Facebook search

find him

the boy who killed David

The boy let down

changed lives

 

His name the town

face fills screen

man in his fifties

the boy of 17

murderer

 

sent a message

He replied

‘don’t you have better things to do with your time like spend them with you children or husband if you have them’

 

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Red hat  – TeeJay

Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER

What I had forgotten was that the cleaner was coming today. Oh no! My house was a mess. I hadn’t tidied for two weeks because my current creative project was all-consuming. In my mind, I had two choices. Either, I spend the next hour madly running around the house organising everything, or just accept that the house was in a state of chaos and, perhaps, just ask him to clean the bathrooms and windows. I decided the latter.

Despite this, I found myself motivated to start a little tidying. And then I saw it. The closed door to the room I never entered. A sudden melancholy overwhelmed me as I fought the urge to walk away. My daughter Cathie. This had been her room and I hadn’t even opened the door for … I couldn’t remember how long. I saw her rosy red cheeks glowing in compliment with the bright red hat she donned on winter days. What an angel she was; smiling so sweetly whilst holding a large icy snowball in her hand. A moment later I was back, facing the stony white door that I had almost forgotten existed.

The Japanese have a saying that when something’s suffered damage and has needed to repair then it becomes more beautiful. Clearly I am still needing some repair, as I had repressed the memory of her. How could I have repressed the memory of her? She was my daughter. My life.  A part of my spirit and I lost a part of me when I lost her. The only way I was able to cope was to forget about her.

Shame and grief filled my body simultaneously as I stood at the threshold to her room; still not able to, or willing to, open the door.

Around the corner was another place I feared to tread. Another door I feared to open. Frozen. I stood for a long time, until the door rang.

I was in no state to entertain visitors. Then I remembered, it was just Michael. The cleaner.

Happy for the distraction I walked to the front door and let him in.

He immediately noticed my distressed state and within moments had lead me into the kitchen and was making me a cup of tea. Michael had been visiting my home for many years now and he almost felt like family. He sat me down, boiled the kettle – not uttering a single word, simply sitting with me and sharing this melancholic space with me. It wasn’t long before tears welled up in my eyes.

It was brilliant! A place. A man. In my kitchen. Sitting. Something I had needed for a long while. No words needed to be said. Just a simple unvoiced acknowledgement of my sadness, and a companion to share it with. It was so cathartic!

Suddenly, Michael clenched his chest and his face went bright red as if he were struggling for breath. Oh my fucken god! He was having a heart attack or something. I froze once more. All I could do was think, not again.

Then I saw Elise finish that snowball toss and laugh and laugh and laugh. Crash! One hit my chest. Smash! Then my head. I fell to the ground laughing, only to see Michael clutching his chest whilst he fought for breath once more as I looked up.

I called triple zero and emergency services arrived within 5 minutes. In that time, whatever happened to Michael had subsided and he was breathing easily again. And I had seen my baby and my husband again.

Time to begin.

 

 

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The simple joy of cycling – Alisha Evans

Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER

She wasn’t allowed to be free. She wasn’t allowed to wear pants, to sweat, to spit, to scrunch up her face. Nobody told her this but she knew. She had forgotten how to fight, how to feel passion, how to suffer – because it was not feminine.

One day, she was brought to try. She was given wings though she did not know it. She climbed onto a bicycle – it was big, awkward, scary. She struggled but for once, she felt excitement, potential, wonder and… freedom. She wanted to do it again.

Steadily, she grew used to her bike and came to love the wind in her hair. She learnt the movements and limitations of her body and became stronger and more adventurous. Her bike was not only her freedom but her scream, her power, her protest.

 

The whir of the chains, the clicks of the pedals, the laughter of friends began to define her. She began to know her city, not only the directions but the roads, their holes, defects and exact gradients. She found a new appreciation for the world around her – the colours, the weather the wild life. She could tell you, every day, which way the wind was blowing.

 

The community embraced her and she could always find another cyclist nearby – each and every one with a fire in their heart and an appreciation of life. For the first time since being a child, she felt the joy of liberation.

Attachments area

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Unplugged – Eithne Leita 

Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER

5 min streak!

So, I’m here in Yack and Dev has asked us to write for 5 mins. This should be easy I think, I can talk non-stop for way longer so, yeah !

I’m here today to try and understand why I think that writing regularly might be for me. So many questions once you start really thinking about it. It’s so much easier to imagine I have a story or two in me but coming here is like admitting I’m definitely going to do something about it.

The people here have come here for a variety of unique reasons of their own but we also share many commonalities. I think I’d like to spend more time with a few of them (or people like them) beyond today.

Digressing- although Dev has asked us to write non stop I imagine that digressing is likely a normal part of this process and maybe also the process of writing in general.

My idea of a writing project based on mini short stories stems from my past experience of other projects where I’ve had more success in taking on something I can finish in the short term rather that one that could take months or years to complete. Might this impatience limit me or can I work with it?

5 minutes – times up!

10 min freestyling

Ok, so, after today – I’ll review the short story concept topics and then set up times to write regularly. I need to explore again my reasons for testing this creative path – love of language and its’ power to convey and connect.

I’m attracted to writing from a child’s perspective of their world. I’m not motivated by incredible experiences from my own childhood but from observation and times spent in my children’s and more recently my grandsons’ worlds. I love the idea of conveying emotions with words rather than in a hyper-emotional way and really want to explore how far and how well I might be able to do this.

I suspect that my experiences as a retired person seeking ways to make my last 25 – 30 years animated, colourful, fun and meaningful might be a springboard for a story too.

Reflecting as I do from time to time on relationships I’ve had and have both in my personal life and working life through the lens of feminism, male/female tensions that are present in both, how I’ve changed over time in my awareness of issues and the importance I place on advocacy for all things related to equity, will almost certainly colour some of my writing in the future.

And, I definitely want to experiment with ways to inject humour into stories and get to know when it will sit well ….

Pens down – times up!

What would I do if I found that I had only 6 more months of life?

I’d take myself to the ocean and the forests as often as possible;

I’d spend more time with my children and grandchildren;

I’d make peace with those things I’ve secretly found wanting in my relationship with my husband (and best friend) and tell him often how I appreciate how he’s tried to fix those things I’ve grumped about and how anything left is really not important;

I would talk with him about the multitude of good things that have come from our life together and how fortunate I feel for the part of my life spent with him;

I will laugh a lot and check in with friends more often;

and, I’ll let my girls know that I don’t want to be buried anywhere, I don’t want a religious ceremony, I don’t need a plaque to mark my time in the world, I don’t want to take up space or have a designated plot they or their children might feel obliged to visit; photos and memories and stories will be held onto as long as need be after I’m gone and that will be enough.

Six Prompts (and a Mentos lolly to feature somewhere in this tale).

What I had forgotten was the number of times I’d driven along the Wodonga to Myrtleford road. Years ago my two daughters would come with me on this trip to visit my parents in the home I grew up in. Along the way we’d play word games, maths games, sing songs and spot favourite land marks eg the pig farm with its’ bright pink pigs. (The farm was owned by the local butcher, a fact I never shared with them for fear they might never eat bacon again).

Sometimes we stayed overnight but more often, just for an afternoon of chatter and snacks. A verandah ran around the front and sides of the house which sat above the garage so we called it ‘the balcony’ and it looked out over rooftops to distant green, treed hills from one direction and the peaks of Mt Buffalo from another. My Mum kept an ice-cream container of chalk…

The Japanese have a saying, according to a friend of mine, although I can’t for the life of me remember what it is exactly. I’m pretty sure it’s something to do with family and captures the essence of all the good things we hope to nourish. I’d google it if I could remember the key words to search with. Anyway, where was I? Oh, the balcony and the ice-cream container filled with pieces of chalk. Mum (Grandma to them) loved seeing them playing and drawing on the balcony floor outside while we chatted together. She would leave those drawings there as long as the weather stayed fine with only rain washing them away.

When they were small , as my daughters were in those earlier visits, they were loved, not in an overly cuddly, smoochy way but more in a free to explore, play and chat about their world way. I wondered whether they felt the love of their grandparents whose affection didn’t rely totally on physical touch but was shown in other ways. We’ve spoken about this since then and I was happy to find that their memories of time spent with my parents were filled with fun, affection, laughter and adventures. My father died when the girls were 13 and 11 years old.

Next Minute I realise that my mind is wandering backwards and forwards in time. Images of my parents (my mother died in December 2017 aged 97), my five sisters, my daughters as children, as teenagers and now as gorgeous young women. My head and thinking is scattered with images and memories so vivid yet slippery and in no particular order.

One thread that is constant throughout these memories is what happened every time we left to drive home to Wodonga…..

The Next Time I write about my parents and their relationship with my daughters I’ll try to put together the scattered jigsaw of memories – or, maybe I won’t. Maybe by writing as I remember I’ll preserve the colour of it all – so bright.

Until finally I find I’m ready to create a conclusion of sorts to this tale. To do that I need to bring the reader back to the ‘good bye’.

Both before and after my Dad’s death in 1994 they both or later Mum on her own would hug and kiss us with smiles that said how much they loved our visit, next, Mum would press into my hand a roll of mentos or life savers to share on our drive home, then, she and Dad would follow us down the path to the driveway, or, stand on the balcony and wave us goodbye until our car was out of sight. Every time, without fail, no matter how well they were, this is how we parted:

Kisses, smiles, hugs,

Mentos or life savers,

Waving from the balcony or driveway, until we were our of sight.

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Short pieces – Vanida O’Brien

Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER

Catherine Deveny told me to shut the fuck up and write
Grandad on his deathbed (talking to me more than he ever had).
He went into details of why he was brought into hospital. That his lungs were like deflated balloons and he had to come to get them filled up again. He was so frail and vulnerable. Then he was being fed by a nurse and I’m not sure what the feeling was; pity? When his bed cover fell and I saw more of him that I ever have or ever wanted to, something else shifted and I was sad. Because this was the most conversation we had ever had and he wasn’t coming out of that hospital. He died telling my cousin all these war stories that, to this day, haven’t been shared. “Too distressing” were my cousins words. I’m not sure I ever want to hear them. But I am sad that I was never his favourite, or ever even talked about. I guess he had too many grandchildren.
Getting dropped home to bed and dad leaving to go gambling with mum.
I think I am about ten years old and my dad drives me and my sister home very late at night. He thinks I am asleep so he takes my sister, puts her in the car and starts the engine. I don’t remember past the sound of the front door closing. I start to cry because I am alone. I think my brother is in the house but I know he doesn’t know I’m home, so he doesn’t care.
I am 19 and going out with a very tall, handsome German guy.
We are at a party and his skinhead friends tell him they ought to “teach him a lesson” about being with someone like me. He is angry, I think, but he doesn’t say anything. I wonder if he remembers that.
I don’t know if what I write is interesting. I just have to keep writing. I’m not sure it will make sense. I just know it makes me feel better.
Emo
What I had forgotten was how soothing the cube actually was. Apart from being a ritual after the deed, the smoothness of the colours and the jarring of the clacking shapes actually became a comfort to me over time. I watched her not moving in my rear view and kept flicking the squares in my pocket. I had never known whether or not I had ever gotten the puzzle correct; never pulled it out to see. I just knew it had to be with me and played with it after I did what I had to do. I dialled a number, gave coordinates and hung up. I drive away and a mere two minutes later, passed an ambulance. It was all falling into place. Hopefully she doesn’t die. That was never what I intended. I just wanted her to see me… really see me. The way I wanted to be seen.
The Japanese have a saying that an incomplete puzzle is a burdened life. I never wanted to complete the puzzle. I don’t even know if I was ever interested in it. It’s always just been the ritual of having it with me. The comfort that it was a part of what I had done. Every second day I drove past her running. It was the same dirt road every time. I always gave her the obligatory wave as I drove by; friendly and acknowledging.
When they were small they were given these presents. Each of the gifts insignificant to the adult and possibly already used. But it meant something to us children. Mine was the Rubik’s. And as each adult lay a fist on me, I made sure I was holding that cube in one hand. It reminded me of pain and sacrifice. Now I hold the cube in one hand and the other hand holds a mop. I lean on the doorway and stare at her in the hospital bed. She is ok. She will know deep down why I did this but she will never know it was me. She stirs and huskily croaks something- sounds like she needs water.
Next minute I am walking towards her. I nervously look around and bring a cup with a straw to her lips. She drinks gratefully and I feel like a mother cat with a kitten at her teet. Or something. It’s very satisfying; she needs me. She looks at me with questions. “I… I’m the one who called for help” I say. She cries silently. That’s enough for today. I walk out and pick up my mop from the wall outside the room. I pass a man looking like death; pale and almost see-through. He enters the room. He takes her he and and begs for forgiveness for not protecting her. “Who are you?” She asks. The man bursts into fresh tears at the revelation that his beloved wife doesn’t know him.
The next time he is in the room with her, she is still confused. He talks about every day things, presumably about their life together, which she doesn’t know about. She is so beautiful.
Until finally she is well enough to go home. She has almost become numb to this man who claims to be hers. Of course she has suffered a great trauma. Her mind isn’t right. It will take time to remember. He lifts her into the chair and wheels her out to the car. He puts her belongings in the back, makes sure she is comfortable and sets off for home. He takes the road she might remember running along but she makes not motion that she is reminded. He’s smiles and fingers the cube in his pocket.
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The Undone Knot – Diane Whiteley

Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER

The undone knot is hanging down

Taunting like a circus clown

Take me up

Take me down

Make me smile

Make me frown

Hide your face and stop the show

Tie it up or let it go

Ring the bells

Sing the songs

The knot’s undone

But not for long

Take me where the flowers bloom

Take me from my darkened room

Pull the blinds and hug the cat

Run to the door

But get pulled back

The slumber is calling

Get back into bed

Turn off the light and pray to the dead

The knot is undone

The knot is undone

The knot is undone

Amen

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Tied up in a world of his own   – Kim Every

Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER

He died suddenly…, most likely a heart attack that caused him to fall and sustain a nasty bump on his head, Niles surmised, tapping the pencil he’d just probed the body with against his yellow, slightly protruding front teeth. Nathan averted his eyes from the train wreck of his superior strutting around like an oversized stuffed pigeon with the predictive powers of Nostradamus himself. Sir, with all due respect, do you really think it was sudden? The room looks to be completely disrupted which would indicate that perhaps a scuffle has taken place. And, sir, do you not think the presence of the orange ribbon binding his wrists … perhaps it wasn’t a heart attack but rather something more sinister?

Originally…, of course, I did think there may have been a more sinister reason for the gentleman’s demise. However, on closer inspection, I do believe he disrupted the room while writhing in pain. The ribbon was likely in his hands at the time and became wound about his wrists preventing him from reaching out and stopping his fall. Eyes almost bulging from his head in disbelief, Nathan boldly challenged his superior, But Sir! Clearly the orange ribbon is tied in a fashion that is impossible for one to administer to one’s own wrists. For Christ’s sake, he thought, the stupid old goat’s really lost the plot this time, clearly not wanting to make a fuss so he could get home for tea before it got dark.

What I had forgotten…to say, interrupted Niles, puffing out his scrawny chest even further if that was possible, is that the orange ribbon indicates that the gentleman was likely a narcissistic fellow, as many of these pompous old fools are. Nathan suppressed the urge to state that it took one to know one. The ribbon is distinctly burnt orange in colour. You will be interested to know that this is the colour associated with extreme self-centeredness, a fact you, my boy, would not be aware of due to your lack of training and experience. Turning his head toward the victim to prevent his superior noting his dramatic, but necessary to keep him sane eye roll, Nathan refused to be put off track by Nile’s usual idiocy. But, Sir, that really doesn’t explain who bound his wrists and, be it as it may, the colour may relate to the perpetrator being the narcissistic one, not the victim?

I found an enormous amount of money…stuffed inside the pianola lid, Niles suddenly blurted, ignoring Nathan’s interruption. Noticing Nathan’s look of confusion he continued on. Well, don’t you see? The gentleman was clearly counting his secret stash of money, which was obviously bound in the orange ribbon, when he was disturbed. Narcissistic people would take pleasure in such a habit and would not wish the cash to be discovered. He quickly hid the money, likely causing a bit of a mess in the room, and creating himself a lot of stress when he realised he still had the ribbon in his hands. Winding it about his wrists, he has become overwhelmed by his own anxiety, causing him to suffer a heart attack, and unable to break his own fall due to his bound hands, has hit his head on the credenza on the way down.

It was brilliant…,this innate ability he possessed that enabled him to deduce a clear outcome from the muddy facts presented , Niles proudly thought to himself. How easily did the young ones get distracted by irrelevancies, for instance a small insignificant piece of orange ribbon. Lucky I am a master of an investigator, none better, even if I do say so myself, he thought, completely oblivious of his long-held reputation of bungling the simplest of cases, completely misreading clues and coming to the most ridiculous conclusions which time and time again needed to be covered up by his junior staff. Nathan, however, was fully aware of his bosses reputation and had to, at times, physically restrain himself from creating a further murder case as a result of his sheer frustration of Nile’s complete lunacy.

What difference does it make… replied Niles when Nathan again queried how the victim had managed to tie the orange ribbon in a perfect knot around his own wrists. It is of no significance now he is dead, you are making a mountain out of a molehill boy. Niles stepped over the body to finally examine the victim’s head, which had clearly received an almighty blow, and in Nathan’s mind was most likely the cause of death. He glanced at the victim’s wrists, the orange ribbon and back around the room. It makes an insurmountable amount of difference Sir, if the victim died of natural causes or was killed. I feel the latter is more likely the case and this means there is a dangerous individual on the loose. A killer at large Sir!

Niles rolled his eyes but couldn’t help them again sweeping across the room. Well, I do suppose it is rather odd. I mean, you could say it is coincidental that the local haberdashery, located across town, in fact, the only haberdashery in town. It just so happens that the store does stock this very same ribbon, which you may be interested to know is spun from the threads of the very rare Panamanian silk worm and imported through Japan. Nathan stared blankly at his boss. Sir, I do not mean to be intrusive, but how do you happen to know this? Well, young man, my wife is a keen milliner. It just so happens that she purchased a length of this very same ribbon last Thursday. In fact, yesterday she took the ribbon with her to the Leopold hotel where she was meeting one of her milliner friends, Mr. Frederick Brown, to show him her purchase. Gathering momentum, Nathan butted in, Sir, did your wife return home with the ribbon? Well, no, she didn’t. The strangest thing happened. Mr Carter, the publican, visited me around 5pm to give me the message that Mildred, my wife, and Frederick had left the hotel around 3pm and arrived back around 4.30 to tell him she had received a disturbing phone call from her sister Millicent, who needed her to make an urgent trip to Karratha, which you know is an 18 hour trip by horse and buggy. She had to leave immediately, and Mr Brown had kindly offered to escort her to her destination. Nathan tried to keep his mouth from gaping open as Niles muttered…Such an inconvenience, I had to get my own tea for goodness sake…

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