Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER.
I hate it when I get home and find cracked eggs in the carton. Cracked eggs! Why didn’t the woman at the check out, check out the eggs in the carton. What does a check out do? I need a carton of good eggs. I’m home, 10 kms from Coles, with a carton of 10/12 eggs !
Cracked eggs are my life. I think I’m paying for quality or the whole deal and then it turns out to be another ‘cracked egg”. The new fence has a post with a knot that I can put my fingers through and its sitting near another post with a disfigured head. ” They were the only posts left” said the fence layer. ‘Well you can bloody well replace them. I haven’t paid $ 3500 for a new fence with knots, bits missing, and dodgy painting”! “What’s happened to quality control, an honest day’s work, and a job well done, cock”! “We will rectify it if you just calm down. I’ve sent the photo’s to the blokes who built the fence and they will call you in the next two days”
Two days has gone. I’m in a Gunnas Masterclass, thinking about the “gunna” fence layer, who was “gunna” call me and “gunna” meet me and “gunna” rectify my knotted post.
“I hate cracked eggs”!
“I hate knotted posts”!
“I hate gunner tradies”!
I reassure myself ” I’m not going to kill anyone, I’m just writing a story”. The world is full of cracked eggs and I’m never going to get the perfect dozen!