Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER.
Why is that sign there?….. It doesn’t make sense!!!
I need to take time out to think about that sign – maybe I can just sit with a cuppa and look out at the ocean to ponder the question that is bewildering. I’m not in any hurry and a cuppa always helps.
I ask the waitress to bring me a black tea – she doesn’t speak English…oh well, sign language works just fine. I’ve been here for two days, so I can manage that. She writes it down – what’s with that – why does she need to write down a simple order of black tea!!!! I don’t really care – because all I need is that cuppa and I can work this through in my brain
This was no ordinary day……I was on holidays – and that means adventure. I always take the less travelled path. I like the adventure, not always knowing how the day will pan out. So today was another opportunity for a wonderful memory. Earlier in the morning I’d taken the local bus, as it wound around a narrow road at the top of the volcanic island.Wandering around the village with no plans in place I decided to take the cable car over the edge of the 400 metres high caldera to spend some time down at the water’s edge. This in itself was quite thrilling – only a very short ride but none-the-less a very steep descent that took my breath away.
I stare out into the wide space of this beautiful choppy ocean – people everywhere. A cacophony of sounds which make no sense to me at all! It’s another thing I love about travel, being able to detach myself from trying to take on-board what I can’t understand. It’s actually something I look forward to – being the only one who can’t understand the language and having to stay silent. All my travel is as a solo traveller and this means much of my time is spent listening without commenting. Listening with interest to the other languages but not being invested in it! Some people nearby are chatting away loudly, some are doing what I’m doing, just looking and watching.
I think about that sign once again – We have insurance!!
It’s doing my head in. Why would they put that sign there? Does it make me feel safe or is it doing the opposite? I’m not sure I really want to know the answer to that question – but I have to, if I want to move forward.
Sally, seriously, what are you worried about? You’ve travelled the unknown path for some 16 years, what is worrying you? For some reason I have uncharacteristically questioned myself about this path I’m about to take. Why have I stopped right here, in front of this enormous expanse of ocean, in this very public place to take stock of what I’m about to do? Why has that sign bothered me so much?
I take more than a few deep breaths whilst I take stock – Oh Sally, get your head out if it…. No, you don’t need to go to the toilet. No, you don’t need permission. No, you don’t need another cuppa. Just do it…. Ok…I get off the chair and get myself ready to go. Oops sorry, I say to myself – let’s pay the bill first before I get taken off by the police and end up in a foreign jail. With the bill paid I take a few hesitant steps towards this path, slowly, slowly, I check my breathing and I stop. I have to listen intently – to ensure I am breathing.
Oh for fucks sake – what is the problem…….. I realise I have to pass that sign again. Ok, so don’t look at it…. Just move towards that path and get this started.
I’m probably only 50 steps through a narrow blue-stone passage and I can smell this most grotesque smell…. What is that? I can feel my heart racing once again…. But I gingerly continue along this path knowing that, even though there are voices shouting in my head, I do want to experience this adventure.
I turn the corner and here is the reason for that foul smell – a Greek man clearly drawing back on a foul smelling cigar – and a bottle of something – which I can only assume is some type of alcohol. God mate! Have you not thought of having a shower before work each day. He takes one look at me and his face is congruent with what I assume my face says……lol.
We both don’t get each other, that is clear. But he hardly acknowledges that I’m standing in front of him, as his next customer. Surely business can’t be that good that he risks a customer potentially walking away. After walking closer to him I realise he’s not alone. There are three other men in close proximity that I assume are his co-workers. No-one speaks to me – they hardly acknowledge that I’m there. They speak to each other in loud bursts that to most would suggest they are arguing. But I know better. I know that’s just how they speak to each other here.
Ok, so I’m now thinking – how does this work? How much does it cost? Who do I pay? Where do I go once I’ve paid? Oh for God’s sake, someone show me what I am supposed to be doing. Then “that bloody sign” is back at the forefront of my thinking. We have insurance!!! Is it a sign that subliminally says “Danger, Will Robinson”….. or am I just procrastinating – which is not my style – or has my wisdom taught me that this is not a good idea Sally – go back – go back right now?
No, I want to be able to say I’ve done it – I want to look back on this and say that I completed this task…. I don’t care who hears it – “I need to hear it”. I may never come back to this place. I may never have this opportunity again.
The main Greek man steps forward, and I can see that he and his ‘old Greek’ mates are talking about me! That’s not funny guys, I’m your customer! Just take my fucking money and let me have this experience!!! Why do I care what is being said by these men – my mind naturally goes to the negative, and I need to take a few moments to check in with myself and say “just shut up – let’s do this”. I have to put all of this out of my mind and concentrate on paying the right money – I’m still in travel mode and have to calculate everything in my head before handing over the correct currency. I pay the smelly, dishevelled, pot-bellied, hairy Greek man his money and he waves his hand dismissively at me in the direction of a concrete platform. Not having any idea of why I am being directed over there, I stand with my hands out and simply say – “you want me to sit here?” He nods his head, pleased that I understood this most basic of directions.
I sit and wait …… for what seems an eternity. Thankfully there is shade because the weather is hot and I was feeling a little feint. Get the water out – and re-hydrate, I say to myself. What the fuck are they waiting for? Why isn’t anything happening? When I am on holidays I don’t worry too much about time, I just want to enjoy the experience. So be patient. But time has stood still for the last 30 minutes – in anticipation. I’m still very anxious and excited all at the same time. I am sitting on this concrete for what seems like an eternity – and I finally realise they are waiting for more customers! Well bring them on – I say!!! I’d be happy to share this experience with someone.
I am curious as to why I’ve chosen to sit quietly waiting rather than checking in with them – but I know the answer to that – I’m actually scared at this moment in time. And that anxiety is growing with each waiting moment. Suddenly out of nowhere a couple about the same age as myself appear – and they have a similar experience to me, in that they were also dismissed – and directed to sit near me and simply wait! They didn’t speak much English or Greek – so they were not up for a lengthy conversation.
Out of no-where and with little introduction there was movement at the station!!!! The Greek men had started to move slowly towards us and all of a sudden I realised that this was about to happen. This was my last chance to bail…..did I want to…..I did – but I couldn’t.
The donkeys were starting to get restless – they could see that something was about to happen. It was evident that the men had chosen a donkey for each of us – and went about getting the donkeys in order.
This is where my heart started to race….I have two replaced hips so I need to be careful of how I move. I can’t have that conversation with non-english speaking people – so I need to manage my own safety whilst they mill around me wondering why I was so reluctant to just step up and jump onto the back of this animal who was oblivious to what was about to happen.
The couple had mounted their donkeys and were waiting for me to join them. Where are the reins? Having ridden horses since a teenager I’m quite relaxed and calm riding horses. It was then I realised there were no reins – nor was there anyone leading these animals up that incredibly steep mountain. With a yell and a few loud noises, which I seriously hope was nothing more than to set the animals off, my journey had commenced. It was at this point that I started to feel quite uncomfortable. No actually, that should probably be upgraded to petrified!!
What the fuck……how can these donkeys be expected to traverse this cobbled path up this mountain? How was I to guide my companion so we had a mutually satisfying experience? Lol …..I had no time to consider these questions, because before I knew it a sound was coming out of my mouth that was enough to scare me, the donkey, the couple in front of me and anyone in a 1klm radius……
I could see the lady in front was wearing shorts …. Whoa that can’t be good! Her donkey was cantering up that cobbled walkway veering extremely close to the wall which was made of very jagged stone. Within seconds she had blood running down her left leg. And she too was screaming, and panicking, not knowing what to do. I quickly recognised that I needed to put my phone away – did I really think I would be taking photos and videos the entire way up? Just getting my phone back in my bag was a task in itself. Moving my hand, even slightly, increased my blood pressure to a terrifying level immediately. But I had to get that phone back in my bag or risk losing my life….. How can this be possible, how can they offer this as an adventure, that unassuming people like myself take without realising the risk factor?
I needed to make a concerted effort to hang on, and take my foot out of the stirrups and put my left foot out to steer my donkey away from the wall. How was it that when they got close to the wall – which had a sheer drop over the side – with nothing to stop you going straight over the side – that the donkeys seemed to actually lean towards the wall which left you seriously at risk of falling off! OMG – what the fuck!!!!
Whatever substance these crazy donkeys were on, they were on a mission – “Get to the top in the fastest way possible – whilst making sure your passenger is scared out of their wits the entire time”. I was now starting to seriously question my sanity!!!
Remember that sign? …… I now know why I was having reservations! But it was too late. I was on this path, whether I wanted to be or not – and I had to get to the top in one piece – or perhaps find a way to jump off without ending up in the hospital with a serious injury. Or worse!
Now these donkeys are not stupid – they realise they can’t do this in one go. It is a marathon for them – and they need to take breaks. But there is no warning when those stops will occur and they often occur when you least expect it. What I have failed to tell you is that whilst we are going up this long winding path there are people walking down and donkeys coming back down in between all of us. There are no rules – it is chaos – and anything goes – the donkeys seem to take the path with the highest risk factor. And those donkeys coming down are running at their fastest pace – often heading straight for you. I often just closed my eyes – praying to God that the donkeys would sort it out. And they did…..
A couple of times there were traffic jams where too many donkeys amassed on a corner and they had to decide who would go first to sort this out. Take it from me – we as passengers had no say in this process. They simply worked it out between themselves…..quite impressive really, had it not been so frightening. It seemed to take forever – and each path seemed to get steeper and steeper – time stood still – but at times it was like we were running the 100m at the Olympics! Somehow, when sanity was lost to me, and I felt like I was facing my mortality I did pull my phone out and take a photo. I am not sure where I managed to get the strength and courage to take that unfocused shot as evidence, or that few seconds of video so I could capture what it sounded like, but I am grateful that I somehow lived through it.
As quickly as it had all started we turned a corner to find a mass of donkeys had come to a stop. All of them other, than our three, were riderless. Oh no, this is where we get off. My heartrate increased and I stopped breathing……there is no step – no help – and donkeys were just crashing up against each other. The couple in front were yelling at each other loudly – but they had managed to dismount and were taking stock of the damage. She had blood streaming down both legs – but their attention turned to me – and all I heard in their very broken English was “thank God we’re alive”. I was still atop of my donkey as I had no idea how to get off. With my hips I can’t swing my legs over like most people so I was going to have to slide off…….oh that can’t be good – what an understatement lol……
Another dishevelled, smelly, Greek man appeared from no-where – but to me he was my “knight in shining armour”. Or that’s what I thought – until I realised he was yelling at me to get off….. well if I could I would, I assured him. Help me I yelled at him. No response! I’m not a naturally aggressive or assertive person but I found an inner strength from somewhere. I pointed directly at him and then pointed directly beside me – ordering him to assist me to dismount. I think he got it! Before long he was beside me – and all I can remember is disappearing between donkeys and heading towards the ground – looking from one side to another realising that all I could see was a tangle of legs and a grotesque smell.
Thankfully I was now on terra firma! and pushed myself out from between the donkeys to find safety. I hugged the other couple asking if I could help the lady, but they were out of there before I could take another breath.
We walked together to the top and then melded with the crowd along the narrow path to go our own way – with those memories indelibly imbedded in our brain forever.
When you experience something like this it’s like you expect everyone around you to know what’s happened and want to talk to you about it – praise you for being so brave – or berate you for being so stupid! It was only the day after that I heard a person had died doing the same thing the week before. They had fallen off and had been trampled! But there was insurance!!! lol
It was exciting, frightening, and crazy but I would not have missed it for the world. Would I do it again – never! Would I recommend it to you – no! But I wouldn’t want you to miss it either.
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