Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS writer
Melanie and Fay were waiting excitedly for the other two to arrive , it was 6am and the trip to Tibooburra was going to take eleven hours from Adelaide via Broken Hill.
The Esky was packed with ice and three bottles of Verve for the journey.
Pamela and Cheryl arrived promptly at 6.30, but the surprise was that Mel had told Fay” Pamela has four wheel drive , no need to hire one” however the “ four wheel drive turned out to be a little Suzuki, they then had to cut their luggage by half.
Pamela brought with her a straw cowboy hat for each of them in different colours, and with the buzz happening they all happily doned the hats.
This was to be a trip that Fay had decided to do as a sort of pilgrimage to her birth place, Melanie wanted to go along and suggested they invite Pamela because “ she has a 4 wheel drive,” and she in turn invited Cheryl.
Four divorcees looking for something different to do, Cheryl announced that she had packed two packets of condoms, she said “if I cant get a root in Tibooburra with all of those cowboys there then I would never get one”, being the classic blonde bombshell we thought her chances were good.
Arriving in Broken Hill Mel had to go to a bank, she came out and whispered to Fay”don’t tell the others but the teller just told me the Tibooburra road has only just been re opened after heavy rain, and the road is not sealed for two thirds of the way.
Off they went deciding it was time to crack a champagne, so much laughter and chatter ,first stop Pack Saddle, a sheep station owned by a distant relative of Fays.
He built a road house on the roadside the only stop for the 4 hour journey between Broken Hill and Tibooburra
Entering the the road house they saw two Old Timers sipping beer at the bar,
“where are you heading girls “said one, answering in unison they replied “Tibooburra”!
“God “ came the reply “ we’d better call ahead and warn them , they haven’t seen any lipstick up there for a while”
Cheryl took over the driving leaving Pack Saddle, Fay in front and Mel and Pamela in charge of drinks in the back seat, ten minutes out they came across a vast amount of water covering the road, “ drive over to the side “ said Fay, big mistake, they got bogged.
Cheryl got out and immediately was in red silted mud up to her knees, you can imagine what laughter this brought about.
“Flag the next car down” said Mel, and sure enough fifteen minutes later a truck came along, Cher flagged them to stop, out came two young cockies, stubbies in hand, “in a bit of trouble girls” “yes” came the meek reply from Cher.
They quickly wrenched the car free, many thanks were given, although by the look on Cheryls face she would have liked to pay them in kind.
The trip was completed in silence, relieved that they were freed as they did not see another car on the road for the next two hours.
Arriving at the Family Hotel in Tibooburra population eighty, two hotels, a general store, race track and hospital for the flying doctor service.
The sights to see were Bourke and Wills boat for “ the inland sea”, hoisted on a pole at the end of the main street, and a little way out of town the abandoned gold mining equipment at Dead Horse Gulley.
The publican , named Peter Petrovic welcomed the girls and noted that they all smelt really good.
The rooms at the back of the hotel were disgusting, dirty, with beds that sank in the middle, the shared bathroom was even worse covered in mould, with a slimy shower curtain to match.
Dinner on the verandah was surprisingly first class, the chef joined them later along with half the population, a sing a long started at around nine o clock
Fay retired early, leaving the others to enjoy the atmosphere of “ The Bush”
Earlier Fay met a distant relative Brian Blore who offered to take her out to their old homestead Wittabrinna in the morning.
Wittabrinna had been compulsory acquired by the Parks and wild life commission who were now taking over the “ Corner Country in North West NSW to preserve the native flora and fauna.
Fay slept soundly until she was woken by the screams of delight and singing from the front bar at around 1 am.
In the morning she tried to dress not waking Melanie , but Mel was one to never miss a thing sat bolt upright in bed and proceeded to tell Fay about the night before, especially about the butch bar maid at the other hotel, “ Oh you should see her Fay, Vicki is her name and she is so handsome”
After a memorable trip out to Wittabrinna, they decided it was time to go to the Gymkhana at the race course, not being fans of rodeo they wandered back to the main street, “ lets show Fay Vicki at the other pub” said Mel.
So in they went, the publican was called Neville ,no Vicki in sight, but two guys standing at the end of the bar.
“What’s your drink girls “ said Neville , ‘Champagne ‘came the reply, “ oh gee I think there’s a bottle in the cellar some where.
Anyway an hilarious two hours ensued jokes were told and singing started, when Neville found out that Fay was born in Tibooburra he asked her maiden name, he then rang another distant relative of hers and said to him” you’d better get into town Fay Rowetts here with some good looking sheilas”
Donald Robertson then drove the two hour trip into town from Cameron’s Corner.
He and Fay met later at the dance out at the racecourse, on meeting he said to Fay” What happened to you ? you used to be so skinny” ( Fay was now quite a big girl) and Donald Robertson used to be very handsome, she now looked at an old man with a big pot belly, so she replied “ what happened to you , you used to look like Elvis Presley” “yes’ he replied “ the girls used to have to take a ticket and wait in line”
The dance was fantastic the men using the pumping action on the ladies arms to whirl them around the floor dodging the kids who were skidding on the freshly scattered saw dust, aboriginal girls sitting shyly in the corner, most were asked to join in and dance , a fabulous sight.
Again Fay retired early walking back to the pub, realizing when she got there that the whole town was at the dance, she thought Oh no I’ll have to go back and get the keys, but after trying the front door of the pub it opened, all the liquor on display for the taking, hey but this was the outback that would never happen.
Next morning Fay and Mel were woken by a gentle knock at the door, “Come in”, in walked Cheryl sheepishly explaining that she was in love
“Who with”asked Mel, the reply left them flabberghasted,” Vicki” said Cher.she went onto to say that after the dance a group went back to Vickis house and Vicki took Cher to the front room and danced with her followed by a kiss, “ Ive never felt like this before “
Fay the told Cher that they would be leaving today, a day earlier than planned, Cher said “ can I go and say goodbye to Vicki first.”
Car packed all occupants in a slight shock that the man eater of the group was now “ in Love with a gay woman,’ they went around to Vicki’s place , a long passionate farewell occurred on the foot path between Vicki and Cher.
“ God” said Pamela to Cher “you had to come all the way to Tibooburra to find out you are a lesbian”
On the ay back the talk turned to another hilarious episode planning the wedding, we were all to be bridesmaids.
“ How will I tell Dad” said Cher , who lived with her eighty five year old father, “ just introduce her as Vic, he wont know the difference”
Foot note:
Cher arranged to meet Vicki in Broken Hill two months later, her car packed with red roses, champagne and a lobster in the Esky.
When she came back after the weekend away we asked “ so what was it like?”
Cher looked sad and said it was awful , Vicki flirted with other women at the pub all night
“She’s just like a man”!!
So you’re not a lesbian? “I don’t think so” said Cher meekly