Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS writer. 
You are both gathered here today to celebrate the life of Sean Young.
Not many people could have foreseen that Sean would be assassinated, nor that so many people would offer to pay for the hit.
This, no doubt, explains the noise coming from the function room next door.
Obviously he didn’t see it coming either or he would have run from beneath the piano that fell from the third floor of this very building.
Sean will be remembered as a man who squandered much. His widow would tell of the talent for wordplay that he wasted on the ignorant. You may have to wait until she sobers up before that, though.
His children would tell you of the breath he wasted. On a daily basis Sean would pontificate “how to’s” and “don’t do’s” to a trio that were more likely to listen to a side show huckster than the man who wanted them to live with the benefit of his “insight”.
Those that we shall, for want of a better word, call friends would tell of all that poorly spent energy Sean expended on whimsy. His “just for the sake of it” and “let’s just see what happens” attitudes generated more bemusement than amusement.
I think we can all agree that Sean’s life was a great example of what not to do.
Now, if the formalities are done, we’ll leave the medical personnel to wrap this up while we adjourn next door and enjoy some truly excellent booze.
What’s that?
You’ve found a pulse?
Well, could you just lose it again?