Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER.
Is this rock bottom? Can life get any lower? I ask. I’m standing, my legs beneath me and I am NOT huddled on the ground. I have my children close by and I feel their warmth. I’m not at rock bottom, but I am in darkness. I long for the return of times when I used to sit by the glowing fire and feel the heat warm my body right to my fingertips, sipping coffee while listening to the laughter of my children rolling marbles across the floor boards. Once upon a time there were smiles, warmth and love around me. Now I feel their sadness and their need for closeness.
No, this is not rock bottom. As one day becomes the next I notice the peacefulness of the winter leaves brown and crumbled floating to the ground, after a year of being bright and green and supplying shade. Yet I’m taunted by the memory of feeling someone else’s anger leaving the imprint of their hand across my cheek. Leaving me uncertain, hungry and empty. I long to once again hear the laughter of my children while resting by the flickering flames. My memories help me to hold my children close and feel their breathe on my cheeks. I find peace in the simpleness that we are together. We are no longer want for something more or fear something less. We live with a sense of freedom having nothing to look forward to and nothing to look back on. Although scared and alone I am free to step forward and take any path.