Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER.
Ugh, another meeting….seriously my life is a never ending rotation of meetings, a meeting lazy Susan!
They seem to fall into categories.
There’s the ‘ground hog’ meeting, you’ve had the same discussion repeatedly on a weekly basis for the last month. Yet you seem to be the only one who realises this. Others seem to think great progress is being made and new innovative thoughts expressed …. you feel like there is a joke & you’re not in on it (I even look for cameras, surely this is part of some prank TV show).
Then the ‘late night SBS movie’, where you’re there for the whole thing, struggle to stay awake and when it finally finishes ……you are confused, wonder where the last 2 hours went and have no idea what the fuck it was all about!!
No-one wants to admit they feel this way so everyone comments how great the meeting was.
The ‘stood up’, where you’re the only one who shows up, you wait for a bit, worry that you got the time/location wrong, then sadly slink away hoping no one saw you sitting in the room waiting on your own like a loser!
And the ‘blind date’, you have never met the other person you are meeting, and there is the awkward moment trying to pick who they are (I’ve even gone up to people and asked ‘Peter?’ Hoping it’s them, only to have that complete stranger shake their head and rush away from you like I’m a serial killer)
In a group setting you do that uncomfortable ’round the room, brief introduction’ thing, and I have to seriously resist the urge to say “I like pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain”.
Oh, let’s not forget the ‘ego’ meeting, you know the one, where one or many of the attendees have so much arrogance and are so busy stroking their own (and sometimes each other’s) egos that the air gets real thin. This can get quite nauseating and you are at serious risk of tearing a muscle with a mega eye-roll (or needing a shower).
And my personal favourite, the ‘delinquent’, where things descend into shits and giggles, double entendres often sneaks in to join the fun. All that’s missing is music, beer and chips. HR would not be pleased ………. Nothing gets done but you leave feeling great!
I could go on, but I’m off to another meeting!