More brilliant work from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS writer.
1. Untitled by Hils
I went to write a poem about you,
Not for you, but for me.
I thought if I could express how I was was feeling it would prove invaluable therapy.
But as I was shaking out my mental thesaurus waiting for the words to fall.
I realised that I could sum it up with just four. You. Are. A. Cunt.
That’s all.
2. Two Sides To Every Story – by Hils
Remind me not to go back to the north side of the river,
Those wankers need to put their latte fund towards a full length mirror.
Someone shoot the hairdresser who’s been styling in the dark,
Uncross your eyes and check your scissors ’cause something’s damn well missed the mark.
Since when did symmetry get too main stream and what’s with all the beards?
I feel like I’m surrounded by Ned Kelly’s, but I’m attracting glares like I’m the one who’s weird!
On the north side there’s never been a better time to own a shop that sells red lippy or specs,
But there’s never been a worse time to run a BP or Caltex
Because a vintage bicycle is the only way to get around the town
And there’s no chance you’ll get breathalised on your way home after throwing several ciders down.
Us silly southsider’s in our motor cars listen to music on the charts
With no appreciation for hard rubbish or the arts.
Our bright new clothes hot off the Bangladesh iron press
Are no match for a salvos mustard coloured retro dress.