Procrasti-parenting and Gunnas – Klara Hansen

Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS writer

Procrasti-parenting 

I procrastinate. My preferred media are tele and games. Better yet, watching tele while playing games. My perfect morning is sitting under the giant umbrella in the backyard, drinking coffee, smoking, watching/listening to Shameless while playing Hay Day. I couldn’t be happier. It sure beats sitting in front of my computer writing my thesis.

There are a multitude of forms of procrastination that loom large. The dishes, the laundry, the pets, MKR. If I have sucked all of these dry I turn to the kids. ‘Oh, dear, I haven’t spent enough time with the kids. I better take them to the zoo/movies/pool/Mum’s/the museum’. They couldn’t care less but it sure beats sitting in front of my computer writing my thesis.

Procrasti-parenting can be fun and it is easily justified. It is the great unquenchable thirst of life, society and family. Nothing is wasted if you procrasti-parent. The kids benefit, responsibilities are fulfilled and only I know there is no virtue in it.

Almost everything would be better if I didn’t procrasti-parent. I might be a better parent and I probably wouldn’t even be so fat.

An Ode to Gunnas

Sit loudly in the black room

Talk shit that goes somewhere

Be held by nada

Warm yourself by the glow of each other’s anxiety

Meaty thoughts launch momentum

Fairy tales are bolstered by Brian Eno

Chants for the 21st century doer

Lists, apps, challenges: brain bootcamp

Not ‘gunna’ anymore

(I’ll be the one in the ball gown and Amy Winehouse wig, standing in my caravan, listening to Elvis while pumping out the next Anna Karenina)

 

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