This is a love letter from Scarlett to her ex husband of 7 years. The diagnosis just this week, of one of their three teenage children, Alex, as having dyslexia, has created an further opening of Scarlett’s heart to see the patterns of her own misjudgments towards John when they were married. What was not resolved in healing over the marriage, this masterclass with Catherine Deveny has opened a window for some more love!
Scarlett came to the Masterclass without any expectations, and in her own co-creative way, allowed the flow of writing. Scarlett is well aware that healing has many layers.
This is non-fiction with pseudonyms…and really sent to John (tonight).
This technique of writing helps the writer, Scarlett, to remain objective as she places some of her life events into a positive paradigm, like a jigsaw puzzle. Scarlett knows that to speak her truth in this way, leaves room for more positive events to evolve for her and her family and friends.
Imagine, if everyone did this….we would not have any politics. Everyone would be like snowflakes – living their own creative truths and being respected by others….
LETTER
To John,
Although we have been separated for 7 years,
You have been my master to teach me so many things in life. Thank you for being in my life!
Thank you for my/our children. I totally believe and I know in my heart that we are together in this life for so many reasons. We do not live in the same house, nor are we to be lovers, yet we will continue to “make love”. By that phrase, I mean to give love and understanding towards each other, and the continued shared care of our children for the remainder of our lives.
I never quite understood you when I was married to you.
Now that we know so much more about Alex, I understand you more. You think and do things differently from me. In our marriage, I judged you and that was wrong, because I did not accept you. My unconditional love for Alex has just led me to truly see the conditional love that I had for you.
You are successful in life. And you should be proud of yourself.
Alex, and his siblings, are also our teachers. Alex is an individual and he does not have a disability. To the contrary, he is smart, creative and I believe that we need to listen to him carefully because he is very wise. I did not listen to you. I believe everything happens for a reason. I also understand that the wiring of his brain (corpus collosom) is so that he does not be political nor manipulative. He is here to speak his truth. I hope to write a book soon to teenagers about “making love” , to follow their hearts and thoughts, their own authenticity.
I should have listened to you more, to slow you down so that you could have fully expressed your dreams and aspirations. Life is ironic. The care of Alex and his sister and brother, is an opportunity, I believe, to allow them to shine where we did not succeed, and as a couple. Let’s get it right. Lets be the two exes who are successful parents!
In our marriage, I was wrong to judge you and talk ‘over you’ so many times. I will continue now to listen to you. This is not to say that you will have all the answers in the decision making processes for and with our children, but I sense that you and I can be very successful in combining our talents, knowledge and resources to create ‘rocket ships’ (thank you Catherine for that analogy). I want to draw a rocket ship now! We as parents can fuel the support that the kids need for their successful take offs, during the tumultuous teenage trials. Teenagers are exposed to too much stimulation sometimes, consuming ideas that are not theirs. Let’s listen carefully.
You have just told Alex that it is fine for him to be a farmer. Could I ask you to listen to him because evolution suggests that we learn from the past? There is a part of you that would like him to be your second hand on your farm. I presume that he will farm differently and I encourage him to possibly teach you. Traditional farming is not working in Australia, and Alex has the intuition to see a positive future. How rewarding it will be for you to watch him develop what you and your Dad started.
A fear of mine is that some people may judge and treat Alex as a ‘boof head’, then subsequently treat him with disrespect. In Australia, we need to see the strengths in every child…..
END OF LETTER
Keep an eye out for a new website and upcoming blog
The author, Georgina Wellwood, can be contacted on quantum.leaps@bigpond.com.
Georgie owns a Health and Wellbeing shop in Armidale NSW.
B Asian Studies, Grad Dip. Education (High School: Japanese, Geography)
Grad. Dip Social Science (Psychology).
Honours (Psychology).