Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS writer
My fear of flying has come on with a vengeance and I am scared that I will never be able to get on a plane again. It consumes my thoughts almost daily.
I am trying to have a goal of flying somewhere this year. Last year I went to see Mr Professional who deals in fear of flying and even though I found it to be extremely useful, I still couldn’t get up in the freakin air.
Looking back on my last session now, I can find some humour in it, though at the time it was terrifying and nerve racking. Maybe I could turn my last experience into a funny story to share with people and be able to laugh at myself but I would still prefer to be able to tell people that I was successful in getting on that plane……Oh wait, I DID get on that plane. Mr Professional and I decided that the shortest flight I could do would be 45 minutes to Launceston and given the fact that it was over water, I would have to get back as well.
It was a stormy and windy day and the wind gusts blew us into the plane, feeling panic stricken I made my way to my seat, sat down and started plotting my escape! Mr Professional said I can do this, but I decided no I can’t do this, got out of my seat and went up to the cabin manager just before the doors were closing.
She tried everything to get me to stay on board but I had to bail. Probably one of the more humiliating moments of my life and once off the plane, my panic is turning into anger, sadness and just being down right pissed off with myself thinking what a bloody loser I am.
Not only had I let myself down, I feel I let my family down who were all waiting for a phone call to see how I went, and there was Mr Professional who was probably thinking, well this is a hard nut to crack. I had also just blown 2 plane tickets and a extended session for Mr Professional.
Where to from here, keep on trying and keep on trying until I succeed, have faith that I WILL get to the South Island of New Zealand. Remember that the brain can change the way it thinks with some hard work and dedication.
I can go through the black door, the longer the journey the sweeter the reward. STAY TUNED