Chapter 1 (Gus at the Bendigo Cathedral)
He looked up the steps to the church, out of breath. Gus had had to leave the house, which was full of his divorced parents. His mum, Helena, had been asked by the officers to identify the body which had infuriated his father who felt left out. Sean argued that if the kids had lived with him, none of this would have happened. All unfair. And all about them. Gus had no air there at all. So he had slipped out, and ran, and ran and ran, gulping down the air. Until he ended up here, looking up the steep hill at this weird-looking church in the cold, autumn afternoon sun.
He was still fuming, so angry he hardly felt the hot tears on his cheek grow cold quickly. He legged it up the stairs, two at a time, and started gritting his teeth, and walking around the base of the building. He couldn’t be still for long. Even just walking, the images replayed in his mind. His father, Sean, coming to collect him and his sister for the weekend. His mother grumpy that he hadn’t packed his stuff, and always referring to Dad as “your father”, as if blaming the kids for their father’s faults. It was early days of the separation, as his friend Joe had said.
Then there was the knock at the door, and two police (a woman and a man), asked if they could come in and speak to Mum or Dad. Gus let them in and called “Muum. Some people…police here to see you.” His mother came from the study out the back and then they asked her was she Helena Monaghan, the mother of Ellie Monaghan? She answered yes, obviously. Then they told her about the accident, about the truck that hit his sister, knocking her off her bike, killing her instantly.
Then there was a silence which seemed like it went on forever…the longest moment in history. And his mother went numb and white and doubled over crying, howling. And he just stood there, frozen, his heart beating in chest like a boxer, punching with each beat. Then the doorbell went, and he let his father in. And they told him too, and asked Helena to go and identify the body. And, what a surprise, his dad started arguing, and Gus saw the open door and ran.
He still couldn’t believe it. He had just that morning had another argument with Ellie. God, how annoying was she? She had to have his hoodie, had to know what he and Joe were going to do, had to jump in on his Halo game. And all he wanted was to get away from her. It was like she was designed to piss him off. One annoying younger sister made to order, ready to stuff everything up, hog your space, embarrass you in front of your friends and break anything of yours worth anything.
And now she was gone.
He realised he was sobbing now, and he couldn’t work out if he was angry or sad or just feeling like a turd because she was dead and he was still angry with her. And now he wouldn’t have any more arguments with her, or beat her at Scrabble or fart in her face, or get her to pull his finger and fart, or show her the next Halo level or eat any more of her fresh Anzac biscuits, or play hero to her friends, or race her to the end of the street, or hear her drainpipe laugh, or keep secrets with her from their parents, or nick her laptop. He could have it anytime now. Not the same.
He thought of going to Joe’s place or phoning him, but their family had gone away to Melbourne for family stuff, and wouldn’t be back for the next week.
Phone? Back at the house.
He checked around, realising he must have looked really weird, with a runny nose and puffy eyes. No-one was anywhere near the church so he used his sleeve as a general wipe, swiped his hair back from his face and then pushed it forward (in true emo style, he hoped), covering half of his face, hoping his glasses would disguise his sooky eyes.
He cleared his throat, and got ready to…to what? He paused not really knowing whether he was ready to go back home. His eyes started to leak again. “What am I gonna do? No Joe, Mum will be a mess. Dad will just be angry and there’s no Ellie either. ” He started gasping again, and he finally didn’t give a shit if anyone else saw.
“Dunno, dunno, dunno”, he sobbed. He thought he heard someone and tried to control himself, wiped his eyes again and flicked his hair so it mostly covered his face again. He looked up and around, stood up and peered around the church steps. No-one. He shook his head, hands in pickets and, looking down, kicked the step trying to act a bit cool.
“Stop!”
He looked around again. There was clearly no one around so WTF? Now he could add loony to his list of stuff-ups. He imagined a conversation with his GP “yes it all began when I was at this church and started hearing things…”
“Stop kicking the steps! It won’t help you and may damage the steps. And blow your nose. It’s dripping.”
Oh crap. He had really lost it now. He sat down and started sobbing again.
“No, no, no. I didn’t say keep crying and release all the snot you can!”
It was coming from the…the (OMG this really couldn’t be happening, last straw and all), the carved face in the wall above the steps. It didn’t look like it was moving though. So he wasn’t hallucinating (oh phew!).
The face spoke again, and this time it moved.
“I s’pose it’s time I asked you what you’re so upset about. I don’t really want to know, I’m just a bit sick of you dribbling snot everywhere.” The face looked disgusted.
He really didn’t need this now. He was a goner, a fruitcake ready for the asylum. They would medicate him to the eyeballs. His train of thought was interrupted again…
“Well?”
“You know what? You can get stuffed along with the rest of my fucked up family,” and, god dammit, he started to cry again.
“Oh, nice mouth on you, boy. Hope you don’t kiss your mother with that mouth.”
Gus rolled his eyes and stamped his foot. “Leave me the fuck alone, you stone-faced….Ugh! I have enough to keep me busy thanks.”
“Are you Gus Monaghan?”
“Did you not hear what I said?” He paused. “How did you know anyway?” He looked up at the gargoyle.
“Right, so now you want to know. Actually I can understand you bawling your eyes out. You’re the kid whose sister just died, right?”
“I’m not saying another word till you tell me how you know. What am I doing, talking to a chiselled brick? I am nuts!”
At this point Gus started to leave. The gargoyle cleared his throat. “I am The Green Man”.
Gus started chuckling, then laughing, then guffawing and slapping his thighs.
The gargoyle cleared his throat again. “I am The Green Man”.
This just sent Gus further into hysterics. So much so he had to sit down as he almost fell over. When his laughter subsided, he added “Yes and I’m a Martian too. You’re not green, mate. You’re a light poo-brown-beigey sort of colour.”
“The Green Man. You know, Green-Jack, Jack-in-the-Green.” He paused. “The pagan deity from Britain, who brings rain and fertility to crops….what do they teach you at school?”
“Not to talk to strangers, thought they don’t mention inanimate bricks, or aliens….” Gus stared to laugh again.
“Look, I’ve been told to give you a message. She is ok, your sister.”
“Do not mess with me, brick-head!”
“I am serious. She knows you feel bad about this morning’s argument. She says you can have the laptop as long as you go to her room and get her recipe book and give it to Shaw…no Sean.”
Oh now Gus was really confused. He shook his head and sighed. And he began to weep again.
“Leaky bloody eyes. Can you see her? Can you speak to her? Is she here?”
“Actually no. Someone else gave me the message but they didn’t mention you’d be such a mess. It’s worse when you go through guilt as well as grief. I gather you didn’t part on good terms.”
Gus shook his head and sobbed.
“Well she must have forgiven you otherwise she would not have been able to pass on the message. No-one here would have been able to see her if she wasn’t sorting things out.”
Gus had watched those stupid psychic type shows on TV and didn’t have much patience for them. This was a bridge too far, but he considered that he was already talking to a brick so why not continue in the loony way he had started.
“OK, so why are you talking to me? You’ve passed on the message, right? Are you trying to convince me I’m nuts? I already know.”
“There are three things I need to tell you. But you have to be open to what I have to say. You need to dump what you think you know so you can take in what I have to offer you.” The Green Man was talking quietly now and looking around, checking for eavesdroppers, or so it seemed to Gus.
“Good one. So what are your pearls of wisdom, your gifts so I can go on to the next level of this game?”
“Sarcasm really is not helpful. Do you want the information or not?”
Gus thought about it for a brief moment.
“Yes, Green Man. Why not? My life can’t get much worse so why not?”
“Right. Right. I s’pose it is a little tough on you at the moment. Which is why the information I have might actually help you. But, like you and children like you say, whatever. You need to know that when you die, it isn’t the end of everything. You don’t have to understand this, just remember it. Like a clue, if you can understand it that way. The second clue is that it may take you some time to hit the bottom of missing your sister, even though you didn’t particularly like her, and she annoyed you. Don’t give up on yourself or think you won’t get through it. You can and if you choose to, you will get through it with some new ideas, a new type of cool about you, and a better understanding of life. Don’t shake your head, just listen. Or better still, write this down. You can write, can’t you?”
Gus indicated the napkin he had found in the bottom of his jeans pocket. It was soaked.
“Ok perhaps just remember these then. The last piece of information is that you know now I’m a deity a type of Nature God, right? Well you may find surprising help and relaxation and you may begin to feel better when you are surrounded by Nature, or looking at the night sky or a beautiful sunrise or sunset, or going to the zoo and looking at the Butterfly House or anything natural. It will help you. Enough of the eye-rolling. You don’t have to do it now, just keep it in mind. OK?”
Gus shrugged his shoulders and finally nodded. He’d given up on pretending to be sane. “Is that it? How do you know what to give me? How did you know who I was?”
“That I can’t tell you, yet. Enough to say that if you come here and ask for information, it will be given to you, eventually. You need to develop some patience and to find a way through the next few months. Any chance you can scratch my left cheek? It’s been itchy for 80 years now and the spider seems to like to crawl along it just making it worse.”
Gus tried half-heartedly to reach but was too short and shrugged his shoulders.
Gus knew Green Man was right. How the hell was he going to get through the rest of today, let alone the next few months?
(This is the first chapter of a young adult novel)