Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS writer
You know, I hate writing about writing.
This time, though, that’s what I’ve got cause that’s what’s on my mind. It’s annoying me though. Why, when set an exercise, did I not launch into some awesome story opener or start where I left off on something else. Why write about writing?!
I think I agree that writing is awful. It’s terrible. It’s hard bloody work. It’s frustrating. There is much self doubt. Why would I want to do it, much less write about the doing of it?
But I cannot stop. I can’t NOT write. I’ve tried. My brain gets very full very quickly and it’s uncomfortable to think. I get grumpy too which is not pleasant for my family.
And there is the feeling of having written. Ah, yes, the calm. The satisfaction of seeing words on a page – in blue – or words on a screen – in black. All is well with the world again when that happens. It inspires me to do more.
More writing would you believe.
More blue and black words.
More more more.
I think then maybe I even breathe better.
But that doesn’t make it any easier. I still have reluctance to pursue something because I’m not sure it’s good. Or maybe i’s because I’m not sure how.
What I’m understanding more though, and what I would tell my own students is
how doesn’t matter right now, JUST DO!
It matters more that an effort has been made than wished for.
The feeling of having written is intoxicating. I need it more often. My family needs me to have it more often. Maybe I even need to write it on a card to stick above my computer. Maybe the whole damn Dorothy Parker quote: “I hate writing, but I love having written.”
Bring me a notebook and a pen!
I am right now wishing I brought my computer along to this class cause now I’m going to have to go home and type it all up while my 4 year old wants to play something and my baby is insistent on having some boob. Right. Now. Then it’s bath time, and bedtime.
But, you know, I’ve got a deadline and fuck it, I’m going to meet it, and then it’ll go a bit like:
“Well, hello Deadline. Didn’t think you’d see me here, did you?”
The Deadline will reply “Oh, I never really doubted you.”
But we’ll both know that’s a lie and we’ll laugh and laugh and I’ll be all like “Take that!” and this will be published, even though it is a piece about writing and I hate writing about writing, but now that’s it’s written and submitted, well, you know, that intoxicating feeling is doing it’s thing.