Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER
The first time I kissed a man I was up a pole. Yes I know so many pole jokes so little time. It was a telegraph pole and we were in a competition at the Cairns showgrounds. Its a bit of an odd competition to be honest. A group of us blokes that are tree loppers by profession have turned our skills into a competitive sport. You have to be strong, fast and know your way around a pole. It was always going to be me n Jake going head to head vying for National Pole Climber of the Year. As we neared the top and I had sweat pouring off me I looked over at Jakie and realised he wasn’t doing so well he missed his foothold on the pole and before I knew it he’d swung off his harness and pretty much had his head in my lap. In a moment I could tell this was serious but part of me wanted to keep climbing, to be the first, I was so close. I looked at Jake his lips were blue, he wasn’t breathing. Oh God, I thought, he could die up here. I have to do something.
The temperature dropped. It was chilly…we were around 100ft off the ground and there was no way a rescue crew would be able to reach Jake for several minutes maybe longer. By then he would be gone. I had to act. I had to do something so I started administering mouth to mouth. It felt weird at first and I tried not to tell myself that I was pashing a bloke. Im not a homophobe but Im not gay either, lets be clear about that. I didn’t need the boys at the footy club thinking I was taking advantage. His lips were dry and I could feel his stubble on my cheek. He smelt of the forest, of freshly sawn timber. Holy fuck Im thinking can someone come and help. His body was heavy even suspended by the safety belt. It was at that stage I could here him saying….
Remember when we were kids together and we used to pledge that we’d always have each others back; even when we did dumb arse things like play chicken with the trucks on the country roads. That was the way it always was, me n Jakie getting into strife and doing stupid things. We had some near misses I can tell you. This love of danger carried into our adult lives.
Next minute as I was still blowing into Jakes mouth trying to avoid his tongue and hoping like crazy it was working I felt his chest heave a bit, just a little at first and then he was coughing and spluttering. He was looking into my eyes and I was so relieved that I didn’t care how weird the situation felt. Id saved his life just like Id pledged to do all those years ago.
Is that your dog ! Jake suddenly yells at me. I snap my head around. What the fuck thats a really strange thing to say to me when you have just had a near death experience. I looked down at the ground and sure enough my dog Lassie had come to the rescue with the fire brigade in tow and they were erecting their ladders expertly against our poles. It would only be moments and we would be climbing down to safety.
And finally, as we were enjoying a nice cold beer in the Cairns beer tent, well thats gonna be a story to tell the grandkids I thought. As the pole climbing blokes raised their beers to me and called me a hero I looked at Lassie and said “theres the real hero of the day”. As I headed back to the bar for another shout I felt a warm feeling flood over me, I have a secret, I kissed a boy….and I liked it.