Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER.
What the fuck is today about? It’s so exciting to finally be here.
I CAN’T WRITE!!! Where does that come from? Thank you to Martel and Catherine, Martel for coming here before me and encouraging me to give it a go and of course Catherine, with the great rack, for being herself.
She has given me the simple courage to come here and try, just try, write like I’m on fire.
I feel on fire, all the bullshit resistance has fallen away….so much resistance and nearly all of it inside me.
Alcohol, my love and hate relationship with you. What was my Achilles heel has turned into my biggest blessing and strength.
I AM FREE from you and free in my world. The excitement of wondering who I am and deciding that myself. Who do I want to be, how do I want to be in the world.
Do I have the simple courage to dare to be me?
Yes I fucking do!!!
Maybe writing, what I thought was a weakness is my strength?
Get the scum out, get the resistance out, just keep going.
Get to that quiet place, the place of knowing inside where it comes from, where it all comes from, the place that feels safe and like home. The place that was buried under fear and pain and trauma. Where I hid from the yelling and violence.
Where I hid under the booze and sex and the running, the running from here to there, from suburb to suburb, state to state, country to country, relationship to relationship, from man to man to woman and back again. That place inside called what? Home? Safety? The Goddess/God within?
I don’t know its name. I don’t want or need to know its name. But I know it is there. I seek it out. I love it, it is mine and I found it through simple courage.
I hope you find yours as well.
Title: Peace
My name: Lee-Anne Poynton
Peace – such a rare feeling for me, to feel calm, at peace, one with the world.
No more desire to fight, to swear, to hate, just to be at peace.
I’ve forgotten what it feels like but I love it when I get here. To write away the hate and anger, get it out, put it down and leave it there.
To be at peace, I love you when you come, and stay awhile.
Title: Simple Courage
My name: Lee-Anne Poynton
The simple courage to begin, to begin a new chapter, with no fear of age or talent or skill or perfect.
The simple courage is now, the right time is now, always now.
The simple courage to dream, anything and everything, big or small, to stop or go back.
The simple courage to finish, to reach the end, to push forward, to limp, to stumble, to fall, but always forward.
The simple courage to be simply courageous.