Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER.
Once upon a time there was a potato in a cottage. The potato was really a cat whose name was Potato. Potato lived in the cellar and ate the mice who came to steal the food that was stored there. The mice made the cellar smell, they left little see-shaped droppings on the shelves and little puddles of mouse-widdle in the corners where the sacks were stored. They ate holes in the sacks to get inside to eat the contents, they used shreds of sack to line their nests.
Every day, Potato caught two mice and ate them. He didn’t want to get fat, also, he didn’t like the taste of mouse so he only ate just enough to not be actually hungry. The problem with this was the mice bred faster than he could eat them. He needed another few cats to help him, either that or the mice needed contraceptives. He was a trim figure of a cat, with fine long whiskers and an alert countenance. He was always alert because he never over-ate.
Upstairs was a fat lazy cat. One day, Potato went to recruit her. The problem was she was always so sleepy and lazy. All she cared about was food and cuddles and sleep. Her name was Carrots. She wasn’t orange, but her tail was feathery like carrot-tops (although not green). Potato tried to wake her up, but she was not interested. He had no food for her, and no cuddles either, because he did not really like her. She knew this so she pretended to be more asleep than she was. Potato sat and thought, then he pounced on her as if she was a mouse.
Because of that she became annoyed and woke up. He got to explain about the mice. Hmm, these mice, they can be eaten you say? I never tasted mouse before, are they nice? Potato didn’t want to lie. Mice were crunchy and tasted of guts and fur and spintery little bones, but the way they wriggled when he bit them brought a rush of enjoyment to him, also the liver was good. He was truthful and said that she would never know if she never tried, and he was prepared to share the experience, if she was game to try.
And because of that, the two cats went hunting together. Potato was excited to have company, and he showed off his hunting skills. The mice used their pointy noses to tell that there were twice as many cats hunting them. They got into a panic and froze in fear, and Carrot was able to catch one herself. It was the first time she had ever tasted fresh warm blood and it unleashed her killer instinct.
Until finally, she became a crazed mouse-hunting maniac, and chased and killed them all. She was like a conquering vandal and laid waste to the entire mouse population in one afternoon. How could she ever eat them all?
Eat them all she had to, as the mice had widdled on all the cat tucker and spoilt it, and there was nothing else for her to eat. She ate so many she spoilt her appetite and got tummy ache, it quite put her off being lazy. She was like a horse with colic and had to move about to get comfortable.
Potato went with her and they went for a long walk through the forest. During the walk each confided that they had been lonely and bored, and from then on they were a pair.