Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS writer
I’ve been on Tinder lately and it’s at times hilarious, and a bit bizarre just swiping “yes” or “nope” when you don’t even know each other. Nevertheless I’ve come up with these tips for men on Tinder.
Tips for thirty and forty something men on Tinder.
- Don’t post photos of you next to hot women.
- Don’t post photos of you next to hot men.
- Don’t say shit like “I don’t like chocolate or coriander” because if that’s make or break for you, I’m guessing you’ve got commitment issues.
- Do comment on how much you love your nieces and nephews.
- Only have one picture of your dog.
- Photos of your motorbike don’t make me want to love you.
- Don’t put up pictures of you shitfaced in South East Asia.
- Don’t post pictures of you standing somewhere tropical with a fuck off automatic rifle.
- I am ashamed to say it, but if you’re bald, make your first photo one with a nice hat.
- If you’re bald, don’t take flash photos from above.
- Don’t say “if you tell me your age, I’ll just add GST, right ladies?”
- Your six pack is unlikely to be the clincher. Make sure you include a picture of your head too.
- Saying “I <3 pussy respect my appetite” makes me want to vomit a bit.
- Cult death metal t-shirts draw a fairly exclusive class of suitors. Be mindful of this.
- If you have salt and pepper hair, feel free to grow a beard. That way you’ll look like the dad from Family ties, and I might want to meet you.
- There are a lot of single men out there who really love cars. Just sayin’.