Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER
Grief
Good grief
Bad grief
Ugly grief
Never
Ending
Fucking
Grief
I have been conditioned by grief since I was five years old
And here I am at 58
Still trying to work it through
Is grief just about someone who dies?
Fuck no
Grief at losing a dream is also grief
Grief about failure
Grief about broken promises
Grief about things I cannot control
Control
Out of my power to control
Things
Events
People
Relationships
Loss of control about who I have in my life
How I want that to look and feel
Maybe addiction
Mine and others
To love and other substances
Is all about the intersection
Of grief and control
Trying to escape the grief
Trying to ignore the lack of control
These three emotional states
Are ruling my life, and
I am fed up
Control the controllable
What in all this do I have control over?
My thoughts
I can re-wire my thoughts
If I re-wire my thoughts
I can change my reality
I can get on top of my addiction to love, to her
I can feel more in control of my life
If I feel more in control of my life
I can deal with my grief
Again
And sculpt a different future