Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER
Our family life changed on my youngest daughter’s 13th birthday. The lead up to the birthday was a usual week. School, work, netball, dancing, a chat with the son living interstate, driving lessons for the learner driver and a teenage party.
But on a day that became bittersweet, an ambulance had to be called. Ray was rushed to hospital. A diagnosis of terminal liver cancer soon followed. Death came four weeks later.
Day after relentless day, week after week, year after year, grief and sadness was mixed with the need to live a life without a beloved dad and partner. Sometimes it’s a shock to realise Ray wasn’t here to celebrate 18th, 21st and 50th birthdays. He didn’t get to know about our ups and downs, strength, education choices, work opportunities, friendships and travelling adventures. He was spared the news of a family suicide.
Ray was really good, an original. Kind. Strong. A dry sense of humour. Good fun. I liked him right away. The children always loved him.
Among his interests was a passion for music. His tastes were eclectic. His collection of records and CDs was extensive. He often made compilation or themed cassettes (back in the day) or CDs, for family, friends and colleagues. Long car trips were quite fine with soundtracks that included songs from all of us.
To this day, it is still a real thrill to randomly hear a ‘car song’.
One of the last things Ray did before coming sick was to make the playlist for the 13th birthday party.
It is quite remarkable that just four weeks later his children made the photo presentation for the funeral and the accompanying soundtrack.
There were so many songs, genres, favourites and possibilities to choose from. Deciding on Spanish Harlem by Aretha Franklin was easy, Lou Rawls Unforgettable was a great choice.
My favourite though, was Day after Day by Badfinger.
“I remember finding out about you
Every day, my mind is all around you
Looking out from my lonely room, day after day
Bring it home, baby, make it soon
I give my love to you”
15 December 2108