- A Story About Archie Wednesday, May 17th, 2023
The boys and I had mongrel dinner that first night back from The Barn. Mongrel meals consist of ‘any mongrel I find in the fridge’ and generally occurred the night before a big shop. The boys vacuumed up fish fingers, frozen peas, grilled halloumi, scrambled eggs, cut up apples, half a bag of mushrooms fried ...
Read more - Mum’s Annual Christmas Eve Meltdown During Carols by Candlelight. Saturday, December 24th, 2022
Deck the halls with aggro and folly.When mum’s in meltdown, ’tis the season to tune into candlelit soapie karaoke…..
T’WAS THE NIGHT before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, because mum was chucking her annual Christmas Eve spastic. “You lazy, useless, selfish kids. Oh no, don’t ...
Read more - Ten Things No One Ever Tells You About Writing Saturday, November 9th, 2019
Last November someone messaged me to tell me something I wrote was part of the year 12 HSC English exam. Which I found hilarious. I almost failed HSC English. Got 51%. Now I’m part of the exam.
I’m also dyslexic. Like 10% of the population. Fun fact, 60% of Nobel Prize winners are dyslexic. We’re also 50% of ...
Read more - On hiking Wednesday, June 5th, 2019
Last weekend we went hiking. 27 kms over two days.
30% was invigorating.
30% moderately difficult.
30% we thought we were going to die.
10% would be best described as bush walking/snacking/telling each other how awesome we were.
So much pain. So much pleasure. Such satisfaction. Monday morning we were walking like 90 year olds but loving ourselves sick.
Last year ...
Read more - PRIVATE SCHOOL VALUES Tuesday, April 9th, 2019
When in a position of privilege and authority, it pays to watch your grammar.
PRIVATE SCHOOL VALUES NUMBER ONE
Did you read about the boy who may lose hearing in one ear because a Melbourne Grammar boy threw an egg at him during a muck-up prank gone wrong? Did anyone else feel sickened but at the same ...
Read more - Private schools. We cannot work for you for free. Tuesday, April 9th, 2019
HERE I was, the girl who went to Reservoir High, at the opening of the Melbourne Writers Festival, glass of champagne in hand, chatting to a couple of mates (one went to Croydon High, the other to Frankston High) about privilege. One of my mates reminded me of the email exchange that follows. This is ...
Read more - The Narcissism Of Motherhood Friday, March 29th, 2019
I never wanted to ‘become a mother’ I decided to have a child.
It was 1994. I’d been living with Marz for a few years and someone asked if we were going to have children.
I was 26. It had never dawned on me.
So I said to him ‘We’ve been together for a few years but we’ve ...
Read more - TIPS FOR PARENTS OF YEAR 12s Thursday, January 31st, 2019
IT’S 9.45am and I’m drinking champagne, eating muesli and crying alone in my house. Big, fat, salty, wet tears rise up from a place in my belly. I feel another wave of emotion envelop me. Embrace me. Slowly. Will I dive under this one or will I ride it? Can’t stop the waves. Better try ...
Read more - The day my dear little Charlie started school, February 2, 2009 Wednesday, January 30th, 2019
IT’S 9.45am and I’m drinking champagne, eating muesli and crying alone in my house. Big, fat, salty, wet tears rise up from a place in my belly. I feel another wave of emotion envelop me. Embrace me. Slowly. Will I dive under this one or will I ride it? Can’t stop the waves. Better try ...
Read more - You Know You’re From Melbourne If…. Friday, January 25th, 2019
When diarising anything in September you first consult the footy fixture.
You were shocked when you found out not all street directories are called Melway.
When everyone knows where a bar, cafe or restaurant is you no longer want to go there.
You’ve read The Slap and you hate all the characters despite the fact they remind ...
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The boys and I had mongrel dinner that first night back from The Barn. Mongrel meals consist of ‘any mongrel I find in the fridge’ and generally occurred the night before a big shop. The boys vacuumed up fish fingers, frozen peas, grilled halloumi, scrambled eggs, cut up apples, half a bag of mushrooms fried ...
