- Australian Citizenship Test Wednesday, January 23rd, 2019
You can shove your citizenship test up your poxy date. No one has the right to decide what being Australian is. I was born here and I have no idea. But I do know what it isn’t, and what being Australian isn’t is testing people on what they know about some white pen-pusher’s idea of ...
Read more - Writing tips. Procrastination. Saturday, November 10th, 2018
They say procrastination is crack for writers. But they say a lot of things. I don’t even know what it means, but I think it’s true.
When I started out as a writer I was working with a fabulous bloke and great Australian satirist, the late John Herovium. We were working on something that had to ...
Read more - My piece From the book Dear Dad edited by Samuel Johnson Thursday, September 6th, 2018
Dear Dad,
I’d like to take back the Father’s Day gift you received in 1968.
I was born on Father’s Day September 1st 1968. It appeared I was your Father’s Day present. I wasn’t. You did not deserve me. You did not deserve any of us. You were not a good man. You were not a good father. ...
Read more - My response to a Catholic school asking me donate to their fete. Monday, August 27th, 2018
Dear Nicola,
Thank-you for your email asking me to donate a ‘voucher, product or service’ to the Holy Virgin Mary Primary School fete.
Unfortunately I am unable to help as, unlike you, I do not support wealthy powerful international child sex rings. Supporting a corrupt organisation that promotes misogyny, homophobia, racism, violence, discrimination, sex negativity, body shaming ...
Read more - Ten Reasons You Should Get An Electric Bike Monday, March 12th, 2018
I’ve just purchased my third electric bike in three years. Last week I bought a Velectrix Electric Bike from Velo Electric Fitzroy North. It’s such a ripper every time I go to ride it one of my housemates has nicked it.
(Update! Four years on I am now on a Kalkhoff Endeavour)
Bear’s TLDR review of the new bike, ‘Easiest ...
Read more - My thoughts after running my first Gunnas Weekend Writing Retreat Tuesday, March 6th, 2018
For all the hopes, dreams and excitement woven with stress, lack of sleep, constant worries of things you may have missed or forgotten and things that could go wrong, the day after a successful big project is the best drug ever.
It’s like walking down the mountain in the sunshine with a coffee in one hand ...
Read more - Office Christmas Party Tips Thursday, December 21st, 2017
Tonight is my work office Christmas party and seeing as though I’m my own boss I’m going to tell myself to get fucked, photocopy my arse and leave it on my own desk and wake up in my own bed screaming ‘I SLEPT WITH MY BOSS!
The office Christmas party is officially an opportunity to boost ...
Read more - A Christmas column. To say I love you. Thursday, December 21st, 2017
‘Listen to me. Christmas is fine as long as you take the position that it’s going to be shit.’ Spreading Christmas joy…..
Read more - Fuck off with the creepy braggy Christmas Cards Thursday, December 21st, 2017
A time for kids? Rubbish. They’re all just spoilt brats who want more crap.
CHRISTMAS? Kill me now. Season to be jolly? Not this little black duck. Wish I was Jewish. Or in jail. Or dead. I s’pose it could be worse. Come to think of it, no it couldn’t.
But seriously, you know what I want ...
Read more - Christmas Shopping tips from Dev. You’re welcome. Thursday, December 21st, 2017
I hate Christmas. Don’t get me wrong, I adore my friends and family (individual results may vary), am delighted to cook for them or buy them things they need or desire and a simple glance at my reader’s physique will assure you I love to eat. It’s just the obligation and expectation that annoys me.
I ...
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You can shove your citizenship test up your poxy date. No one has the right to decide what being Australian is. I was born here and I have no idea. But I do know what it isn’t, and what being Australian isn’t is testing people on what they know about some white pen-pusher’s idea of ...
