- Logies 2007 Tuesday, January 18th, 2011
DESPITE WRITING LAST year, “If you enjoy watching celebrities eat their own vomit tune in on Sunday night to watch the Logies”, and then describing television’s night of nights as “four hours of nauseating self-congratulatory wank“, I was offered a job writing on this year’s Logies.
So my advice to writers is: do shit where you ...
Read more - Logies 2008 Tuesday, January 18th, 2011
Curtain up, light the lights – it’s the TV industry’s night of frights.
COME SUNDAY, THE 50th TV WeekLogie Awards will be on and I’ll be curled up on my couch in my pyjamas eating the leftover Easter eggs and watching the annual car crash again. I do it every year and I have no idea ...
Read more - Logies 2009 Tuesday, January 18th, 2011
The 2009 Logie Awards. What did you miss? Pigs in suits and scrags in curtains. Vain attention seeking opportunists suffering relevance deprivation hoping to get lucky with one of the members of Hi5 but happy enough to go slops by standing next to Bud Tingwell when he sneezed.
It wasn’t a car crash this year. It ...
Read more - Matty Johns Footy Legend Tuesday, December 28th, 2010
Published 20 May 2008
THE saddest thing is that I wasn’t surprised. No, scratch that. The saddest thing is that none of us were surprised that we weren’t surprised. Most of us didn’t even think about it. We just trotted out our knee-jerk reactions, tut-tutted, finger-pointed, rolled our eyes and went on with our business.
Soon another ...
Read more - Tracy Grirmshaw vs. Matty Johns Tuesday, December 28th, 2010
Published 23 May 2008
The most stunning television I’ve seen for a very long time was on Channel Nine last week. You can’t handle the truth? Mate, I can’t handle the truth.
If you haven’t watched Grimshaw’s interview with ‘rugby league superstar” and ‘television personality’ Matthew Johns don’t walk but run to watch it online. Grimshaw should ...
Read more - Footy Show. Bankrupt orgy of male chauvinism Tuesday, December 28th, 2010
Published in The Age June 17 2007
The Footy Show is fooling no one: a misogynist in a suit is still a degrading spectacle.
I HAVE JUST WATCHED three episodes of The Footy Showand I feel like Sammy Davis jnr at a Ku Klux Klan rally, like Dannii Minogue at a Mensa convention, like George Pell in 2007.
I’m ...
Read more - Northland and Southland Thursday, December 23rd, 2010
Northland and Southland seemed poles apart, mainly because shoppers in the south had teeth — and shoes. GROWING up close to Northland, (regional dialect pronunciation: Norflandz) resulted in my magical childhood shopping odysseys being zoned to the Palace of Shoplifting and Festival of Mullets. Northland: No shirt? No shoes? No worries!
The arrival of the child-endowment ...
Read more - God Is Bullshit: The Resurrection 2011 Melbourne International Comedy Festival Wednesday, December 22nd, 2010
“Gotta love those fundamentalists. Putting the fun and the mental back into religion…”
God Is Bullshit: The Resurrection part of the 2011 Melbourne International Comedy Festival ON SALE NOW! CLICK HERE TO BUY TICKETS! The perfect Christmas gift for your favorite frothing at the mouth atheist, or hard core bible basher.
“Who was Jesus? So a long time ago ...
Read more - Melbourne Writer’s Festival 25th Anniversary Portrait by Beowulf Sheehan Monday, November 8th, 2010
Image credit: Beowulf Sheehan/Melbourne Writers Festival. To check out Beowulf’s brilliant work CLICK HERE and for the rest of the MWF Portraits CLICK HERE
Read more - Smack kids harder and in public Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010
THE Australian Childhood Foundation has launched a campaign to warn parents not to smack their children because it may “teach children that violence can be an acceptable way to solve problems”. A recent poll revealed 92 per cent thought that smacking was “sometimes” necessary. Tony Abbott also thinks going the thump on kids is fine.
I’ve ...
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DESPITE WRITING LAST year, “If you enjoy watching celebrities eat their own vomit tune in on Sunday night to watch the Logies”, and then describing television’s night of nights as “four hours of nauseating self-congratulatory wank“, I was offered a job writing on this year’s Logies. So my advice to writers is: do shit where you ...
