The ‘all porn is all bad for all people all the time’ argument is crap.
For most people, pornography use has no negative effects—and it may even deter sexual violence.
Not only is it crap but it exposes how limited, scared, prejudiced, brainwashed and suffering from Stockholm Syndrome people are.
Here’s my problem with the current demonisation of porn argument.
It’s steeped in the assumption that…
1. There was no porn before the Internet.
2. The impact of all porn is only negative. And it is all the same for all people.
3. The only thing to ever make a negative impact on our sexuality (and it always and only makes a negative impact) is porn.
Bullshit.
The things that have made the most negative impacts on my sexuality and that of most people I know have been….
1. Religion
2. Mainstream movies, commercial TV, advertising and traditional narrative.
3. The dysfunctional relationships and sexual oppression we grew up around.
Most porn I have seen, and I am not and have never been a massive consumer of porn I have found hilarious, entertaining, educational and/or arousing. Even when it’s not my cup of tea, and occasionally confronting, it’s been educational, making me more understanding of the diversity in sexual expression, opened me up and given me ideas to broaden my own pleasure and helped me understand where my own boundaries are.
We need to embrace the idea of life long sex education (have a listen to my sex podcasts with sex therapist Cyndi Darnell here). It’s only been during recent times that we are not seeing sex around us. Think about the small homes we shared, none of this bedroom for all with a door on it business.
Sex was happening around of it whether we were conscious of it or not. Sure not all of it healthy, buy sex nonetheless.
I’m against misogyny, violence, dangerous and illegal work place practices and the oppression of people but I am not against porn.
How is sex shameful (or better still the new fad word ‘inappropriate’)? How is it any different to eating, exersise or having a massage?
Most of the ‘science’ I have read about porn and it’s effect on people is flawed, problematic, uses poor methodology and/or reeks of confirmation bias. People are consuming more porn than ever and despite awareness and rates of reporting going up there is plenty to suggest rates of incidents are going down and understanding and embracing of the wonderful diversity of sexuality and sexual expression is blossoming in many places. Particularly amongst teenagers who are far more accepting, adventurous and less burdened with social expectation than the generations before.
Sex addiction. Sure it’s an issue. It’s always been an issue, it’s not a new issue. Some believe sex addiction is not a disorder but an excuse for people who do not want to take responsibility for their behaviour. Sure, the internet makes access to porn easier and the incidents and severity may have increased, but perhaps it’s the price to pay for liberation, acceptance and more please for all. Look at alcohol, food and information. Not all humans are not great at moderation and we are all wired differently and have our own personal battles to fight.
And no, I don’t by the ‘all porn is all bad for all people all the time’ argument any more than I buy the ‘all porn is all good for all people all the time’ argument. There is plenty of bad porn. There is also plenty of good porn. We need more good porn.
The suggestion or flat out assertion that slut shaming, sexual abuse, pedophelia, misogyny etc is something ‘new’ and caused by this fad called ‘porn’ delivered by this evil invention caused by ‘the internet’ is hilarious. And exposes the people who embrace it as Scapegoat Hunters.
And by the way, clothes don’t make little girls ‘slutty’, we do. Clothes are clothes. Short shorts on girls are described as slutty when the same on little boys described as ‘what they wear when then play footy’.
The idea women and men (but women in particular) are being forced to behave in certain ways and perform certain acts due to pressures created by ‘expectations’ as something recent and caused by the internet makes you wonder if there is a cognitive dissonance epidemic.
Human nature doen’t change, it’s only technology that does.
Gay people have been marrying straights for centuries to fit in with what society told them was acceptable. Or becoming nuns and priests to slip under the net.
Women have been expected to be the gate keepers of a men’s sexuality and the sole cause of their sexaul behavior since Eve ate the apple. And continue to be. When I was four years old a 15 year old family friend got pregnant. The words used were ‘she got herself pregnant’ and ‘he did the right thing by marrying her’.
The frigid-cock tease-slut balance is one of time immemorial. So too misogyny and pedophelia. See thousand year old institutions like Catholic Church for further details.
Not only is the argument ‘all porn, all bad, for all people, all the time’ crap, if you consider the amount that we’re all consuming porn at, more worringly it is deeply hypocritical.
I’m against misogyny, violence and the oppression of people but I am not against porn.
Fuck reading, you should be writing. BOOK HERE.