Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER
He died suddenly…, most likely a heart attack that caused him to fall and sustain a nasty bump on his head, Niles surmised, tapping the pencil he’d just probed the body with against his yellow, slightly protruding front teeth. Nathan averted his eyes from the train wreck of his superior strutting around like an oversized stuffed pigeon with the predictive powers of Nostradamus himself. Sir, with all due respect, do you really think it was sudden? The room looks to be completely disrupted which would indicate that perhaps a scuffle has taken place. And, sir, do you not think the presence of the orange ribbon binding his wrists … perhaps it wasn’t a heart attack but rather something more sinister?
Originally…, of course, I did think there may have been a more sinister reason for the gentleman’s demise. However, on closer inspection, I do believe he disrupted the room while writhing in pain. The ribbon was likely in his hands at the time and became wound about his wrists preventing him from reaching out and stopping his fall. Eyes almost bulging from his head in disbelief, Nathan boldly challenged his superior, But Sir! Clearly the orange ribbon is tied in a fashion that is impossible for one to administer to one’s own wrists. For Christ’s sake, he thought, the stupid old goat’s really lost the plot this time, clearly not wanting to make a fuss so he could get home for tea before it got dark.
What I had forgotten…to say, interrupted Niles, puffing out his scrawny chest even further if that was possible, is that the orange ribbon indicates that the gentleman was likely a narcissistic fellow, as many of these pompous old fools are. Nathan suppressed the urge to state that it took one to know one. The ribbon is distinctly burnt orange in colour. You will be interested to know that this is the colour associated with extreme self-centeredness, a fact you, my boy, would not be aware of due to your lack of training and experience. Turning his head toward the victim to prevent his superior noting his dramatic, but necessary to keep him sane eye roll, Nathan refused to be put off track by Nile’s usual idiocy. But, Sir, that really doesn’t explain who bound his wrists and, be it as it may, the colour may relate to the perpetrator being the narcissistic one, not the victim?
I found an enormous amount of money…stuffed inside the pianola lid, Niles suddenly blurted, ignoring Nathan’s interruption. Noticing Nathan’s look of confusion he continued on. Well, don’t you see? The gentleman was clearly counting his secret stash of money, which was obviously bound in the orange ribbon, when he was disturbed. Narcissistic people would take pleasure in such a habit and would not wish the cash to be discovered. He quickly hid the money, likely causing a bit of a mess in the room, and creating himself a lot of stress when he realised he still had the ribbon in his hands. Winding it about his wrists, he has become overwhelmed by his own anxiety, causing him to suffer a heart attack, and unable to break his own fall due to his bound hands, has hit his head on the credenza on the way down.
It was brilliant…,this innate ability he possessed that enabled him to deduce a clear outcome from the muddy facts presented , Niles proudly thought to himself. How easily did the young ones get distracted by irrelevancies, for instance a small insignificant piece of orange ribbon. Lucky I am a master of an investigator, none better, even if I do say so myself, he thought, completely oblivious of his long-held reputation of bungling the simplest of cases, completely misreading clues and coming to the most ridiculous conclusions which time and time again needed to be covered up by his junior staff. Nathan, however, was fully aware of his bosses reputation and had to, at times, physically restrain himself from creating a further murder case as a result of his sheer frustration of Nile’s complete lunacy.
What difference does it make… replied Niles when Nathan again queried how the victim had managed to tie the orange ribbon in a perfect knot around his own wrists. It is of no significance now he is dead, you are making a mountain out of a molehill boy. Niles stepped over the body to finally examine the victim’s head, which had clearly received an almighty blow, and in Nathan’s mind was most likely the cause of death. He glanced at the victim’s wrists, the orange ribbon and back around the room. It makes an insurmountable amount of difference Sir, if the victim died of natural causes or was killed. I feel the latter is more likely the case and this means there is a dangerous individual on the loose. A killer at large Sir!
Niles rolled his eyes but couldn’t help them again sweeping across the room. Well, I do suppose it is rather odd. I mean, you could say it is coincidental that the local haberdashery, located across town, in fact, the only haberdashery in town. It just so happens that the store does stock this very same ribbon, which you may be interested to know is spun from the threads of the very rare Panamanian silk worm and imported through Japan. Nathan stared blankly at his boss. Sir, I do not mean to be intrusive, but how do you happen to know this? Well, young man, my wife is a keen milliner. It just so happens that she purchased a length of this very same ribbon last Thursday. In fact, yesterday she took the ribbon with her to the Leopold hotel where she was meeting one of her milliner friends, Mr. Frederick Brown, to show him her purchase. Gathering momentum, Nathan butted in, Sir, did your wife return home with the ribbon? Well, no, she didn’t. The strangest thing happened. Mr Carter, the publican, visited me around 5pm to give me the message that Mildred, my wife, and Frederick had left the hotel around 3pm and arrived back around 4.30 to tell him she had received a disturbing phone call from her sister Millicent, who needed her to make an urgent trip to Karratha, which you know is an 18 hour trip by horse and buggy. She had to leave immediately, and Mr Brown had kindly offered to escort her to her destination. Nathan tried to keep his mouth from gaping open as Niles muttered…Such an inconvenience, I had to get my own tea for goodness sake…