Don’t take anything seriously.
This year is NOT about you, it’s about them.
Be a pot plant parent. Around but not interactive.
Just say ‘Hey’, ‘Are you home for dinner?’, ‘How is school going’? ‘Got plans for the weekend?’’Can you please unpack the dishwasher/take out the rubbish/walk the dog before dinner?’.
Offer tutors if you can afford it and if not/also tell them if they have school worries to chase up their teachers and talk to them.
Their result is not your result.
Acknowledge and applaud effort not outcome. That doesn’t mean hours spend studying that means say ‘I know you had a massive weekend, well done getting to school on time Monday.’ Persistence not marks.
Do not emphasis the year.
Keep saying AND SHOWING ‘this is your journey but I am here if you need it’.
Try to keep the house stay as orderly as possible but of course make sure they are pulling their weight.
Don’t always be there.
Make sure they know you don’t give a monkeys about their result but you want to support them cope through a stressful and confusing year which means nothing in the long run.
Be open about mental health issues (your own as well) and make sure they know they can take advantage of some talk therapy if needed and other forms of treatment if necessary.
LET THEM FIND THEIR OWN WAY.
If they know you won’t freak out, put pressure on or be disappointed when they share something with you they will ALWAYS come to you if they need.
If they don’t have a part time job already (they should) make sure they get one ASAP. Yes during VCE, most importantly.
Encourage and model good work life balance, self-care and self-soothing.
Talk about all the people who bombed in year 12 and went on and blossomed in all areas of life. And the ones who did super well in year 12 then fizzled out as well as the people with uneven profiles who have had varied lives.
If they crack the shits and take their frustrations on you, listen, nod and say ‘Your behaviour reveals nothing about me but everything about you.’ Later if you want you can text ‘If you think I can help in any way please let me know.’
Have faith in them. Be a safe non judgemental space where they can land and lick their wounds after they fuck up.
I heard of woman who promised to buy her a car if she failed so she could driver UBERs.
You cannot run this marathon for them. All you can do is cheer, hand them drinks and be there at the finish line.
If you find yourself getting too invested in their marks, what course they should do or which uni they should go to back the fuck off and do some work on yourself.
‘The heaviest burden a child carries is the unlived life of their parents’ – Carl Jung.
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On Teenagers, ATAR Results And Young People
I got 51% for HSC English. These days my writing is used on year 12 exams. I also run Gunnas Writing Masterclass all over Australia and have had 6000 people attend since 2014. Yes we do vouchers. Love to see you.
Gunnas Writing Masterclass coming up Sydney, Canberra, Perth, Melbourne, Ballarat, Adelaide, Apollo Bay etc click here for more info.
